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When children are immersed in play they usually put their entire soul into the activity. It is this intensity that allows them to absorb so much about the world in the early years of their life. They are always learning, always taking in something new. Because of this intensity it can be very hard for a child to switch from one activity to another without first making a mental adjustment.
Transitions can be hard. The end of school; the beginning of camp; moving to a new house or a new school; Grown-ups talk frequently of the "major life crises." They're all about transitions of one kind or another. Certainly, leaving a play date or changing activities during the day at school are transitions as well, but for this newsletter let's concentrate on the biggies. It's scary for anyone to experience events that are out of one's control.
Becoming a parent is such a life altering experience. There are so many stages and so many new emotions. First, we hear the sounds and the giggle of our babies. Then, these little voices we wait so patiently to hear, as they learn to speak their first words...these little humans that we have the honor of bringing forth through us into our physical world...These beautiful blessings that love us so unconditionally...They are excited by EVERYTHING!
Children of all ages watch everything their parents do. Do you smoke? Do you drink? Do you take a lot of pills? Do you look at porn? It’s difficult to do these things while explaining to your kids why they shouldn’t do these things.
On the other hand, do you go to worship services regularly? Do you lead a youth group? Do you volunteer at area hospitals or take part in a clean up the neighborhood project or get involved in Habitat for Humanity?
As we write this we are teaching our youngest children to drive. This is a path we have been down before, but as our impulse for self-preservation is undiminished, we still find it a bit frightening this last time. Learning to drive may be one of the great adolescent milestones but, for parents, it represents a major push back from our kids as they claim their independence from us. Truthfully, the whole process is driving us crazy.
By Katherine Eskovitz
Award-winning children’s author and founder of little BLUEPRINT
How will our parenting decisions today affect the adults our kids will become tomorrow? Molly Skyar, in open conversation with her mother, Dr. Susan Rutherford, view parenting decisions through a psychologist's perspective.
How Can I Help My Toddler Get Over His Separation Anxiety?
When I drop off my two-and-a-half-year old at school he suddenly complains of a bellyache and always cries when I leave. What can I do?
DR. SUSAN RUTHERFORD: It sounds like he has a pattern of saying he has a bellyache whenever he separates from his mom.
Ever try convincing a wide-awake child to go to bed? Not an easy task! Instead of bedtime battles, you can work with your child’s natural body clock so that he’s actually tired when his bedtime arrives. Did anyone ever tell you, “You can’t make a child sleep, but you can make him go to bed.”
