Are you getting frustrated with the endless stream of advice you get from other people about how to raise your child? You may love your friends and family, but how do you get them to stop dispensing all this unwanted advice?
Alan Greeene, MD
Dr. Siegel
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Neuropsychiatrist, New York Times Bestselling Author, and Mindsight Educator
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When it comes to families and the media (i.e., television, movies, the internet), parents often feel like they are fighting a losing battle. I hear many parents tell me that their children learn about sex, profanity, and violence from watching things on television or from a movie. Sometimes, still, kids will tell me that they sneak and watch things that they know their parents would not allow. And, in the mix of it all, kids and parents lose sight of how significant an influence media has on them.
Got tweens? Then you’ve seen it all: the tasteless duds, the sassy ’tudes, the roller-coaster moods, the peer-group devotion, the slow shedding of innocence.
Yes, I remember it well. Last century, we labeled this age group “preteens.” Today, although we’ve rebranded them “tweens,” not much has changed. Those critical three or four years before adolescence officially shows up teem with curveballs and commotion, and shock and awesomeness.
The good news: It gets better.
The bad news: Not for a long time.
I do not believe lazy kids exist. I don’t.
When I hear a parent or teacher tell me that this student or that child is lazy, I immediately know to start asking deeper questions. In the last 15 years I have discovered that what appears as laziness is a symptom, not a condition.
For years, my son was a tad-bit on the moody side. It was almost as if his moods were always simmering, and you never knew when the pot would escalate to a rapid boil!
This is the same child who threw an all-out tantrum because we asked him to stop whining. A classic blame-thrower, he insisted: “Dad yelled at me! And besides, my throat is just scratchy.” Hmmm, sounded like whining on this end.
But things are MUCH better now that my husband and I learned how to manage our son’s emotional intensity with more finesse.
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