Talking to Your Children About 9/11
Posted September 11, 2015 - 8:54am
At what age did you first discuss the events of 9/11 with your kids? My oldest is 9 and I think we first discussed it when she was in first grade. I'm pretty sure it was because they'd talked about it in school. I just felt like she was too young to know, you know? Well my kindergartener and I have never talked about it and I have no idea what her teacher will tell her at school today and I wonder if I should have talked to her about it before today. What are your thoughts/experiences?
justamom
As usual, I believe it depends on the child & how mature they are. If your child is comfortable watching the tragedy in the news, I would think they could handle an explanation of what happened.
CandyOvercaffed
Because my oldest is a very sensitive child, I was wondering how regularly-sensitive kiddos dealt with it. And at what age they became more curious. My 9yo is becoming more curious than anxious about the topic these days.
Your Kid's Table
My oldest is in kindergarten and as he headed off in his red/white/blue I wondered if I should bring it up with him. I know he could have had some anxiety about it so I passed this year. However, I will ask if it was addressed at all in school and follow up here if it was.
CandyOvercaffed
That's my plan, too. I know my 9 year old WANTS to talk about it, but I asked her to ask me her questions when her little sis wasn't around. :0/
jonbonjovious
Three of my children were alive for 9/11. We have always talked openly about it. We actually arrived in Hawaii the night before 9/11 and our two day trip turned into almost 3 weeks as we struggled to get a flight back to the mainland. It was very traumatic for my oldest and he wanted to talk about it--he wanted to understand...it's something my other three children have grown up listening to...our memories (good and bad). For me, it seems the children who weren't alive then don't seem to grasp the tragedy--I mean how do you explain this to someone who doesn't really have a concept of death or war? I hope everyone returns safely home tonight and those impacted find peace.
CandyOvercaffed
Yes - how do you make them understand something like that? WE don't even understand it, you know? That must have been a difficult time for you guys.
jonbonjovious
Right? 14 years later it seems so surreal. We were in Hawaii--can't complain too much! ;)
Momofboys
Hmm. This is an interesting topic; my oldest is only five, so this isn’t something that I have discussed with any of my kids. They don’t discuss it in school either, I guess when they are older this is a subject I will tackle with them.
Mommy Ramblings
I am not one of those shield your kids from all the brutality and ugliness in the world moms. I have always been honest with my kids. My oldest three were all school age when 9/11 happened and we live in NY so we never kept a thing from them. The younger ones were always told things in a matter of fact way and that is just what we do. I mean last year around this time we had a young man that gun downed 2 cops and killed them and then went into the woods. Some schools were closed around us. It was a scary time, I never kept it from the little ones. One of the cops son's was 5 like one of my son's and when my son saw me looking at the pictures of the funeral and crying, he asked me about it. I did not like. I told him the little boy's dad was a police officer and he was ambushed and shot. It was sad but if the little boy is living it, it seems disrespectful to pretend it did nt happen. I think it teaches kids compassion and that they never know what someone else is going through and to be kind.
CandyOvercaffed
It can, but it depends on the kid and the circumstances. For example, if I would have told my oldest when she was 5 something like that, it would have given her nightmares. It can be really confusing for younger children who don't have a point of reference. Yesterday in my youngest's kinder class, they did not talk about 9/11 at all and I'm fine with that. However in my 4th grader's class they watched a video about it and we were able to talk about it last night.
sunnykathleen
That is such a tough topic to broach - the innocence they have before they figure out that not everyone in the world is nice, and in fact can be cruel is a hard lesson to learn. I hope that her teacher talked in an age apporpriate way. how did it turn out?
sunnykathleen
That is such a tough topic to broach - the innocence they have before they figure out that not everyone in the world is nice, and in fact can be cruel is a hard lesson to learn. I hope that her teacher talked in an age apporpriate way. how did it turn out?
CandyOvercaffed
So they didn't talk about it in the kindergarten class. They just talked about firefighters and police officers. The 4th grade teacher showed them a video and it was fine.