I know this sounds like a ridiculous question, but please hear me out....

Should I tell my children that I am getting married?

I am a 32 year old woman who has 2 kids, 12 and 8 years old. I married very young and we divorced after 9 horrible years. I was glad that it was over. A couple years later I married my best friend from high school... my soulmate. It was perfect for about 4 months until I found out he had been molesting my daughter.... needless to say, I have not had the best luck.

I have been dating a man for over a year, and he is wonderful. We have discussed marriage, and I told him that I was happy just living in sin, lol. But he has never married and wants to "do it right". We already wear rings. I have a tumultuous relationship with my family, who are all judgemental and butt into my life constantly offering opinions and criticism all the time. I have NO desire to include them in any matrimonial plans... IF we do marry it will be a small civil service, with no family or friends, and likely we wont even tell anyone... It will just be for us.

My question is, I want to tell my children, and I would love to have them at the service, but somehow the idea of a wedding has lost its luster. Also, I am afraid that they will run off and tell my family... not that they would MEAN to, but theyre children.... Can't expect them to keep a secret like that. I dont want my fear of my family's judgement to keep me from being happy, but I am afraid that my privacy will be violated if I include the kids. Their lives will not change either way. We are still going to live our lives together, as if nothing is different.

Am I wrong to want the wedding to be private?