Nanny Envy
Posted August 23, 2015 - 4:48am
My friend is grateful she found the most wonderful, loving nanny (we call them yaya here in the Philippines) for her two-month old while she went back to work. She is secretly jealous of her nanny though since her son seems more bonded to the nanny and that the nanny now knows her son better than she does. How is she supposed to deal with her feelings?
sunnykathleen
That is a hard situation! Maybe she could have a talk with the nanny as the baby gets older and make sure the child sees pictures of her mom during the day and gets talked about...like, "Let's make this picture for mommy. She misses you!" For the mom maybe she should carve out some alone time with her baby each night before bed where she is rocking and singing to her. The baby knows her moms smell and voice better than anyone else and they can make sure and connect with each other frequently.
MommyUnwired
Yes, that would help :)
jonbonjovious
I was a nanny for two years out of high school. A child does bond with those he spends the most time with. It is important for parents to remember that it is not so much the quantity of time that matters, but the quality. I know the more balanced family I was a nanny for, was the one, where the mom came home, changed her clothes and took over the children. She would read books with them, cook dinner with the older ones and engage with the children. It's a challenging situation, but there is no need to be jealous. Celebration that the children love the person brought in to care for them is needed.
Momofboys
I had a nanny for a short time when my last son was born. My boys adored their nanny and I loved it because it kept them getting the full attention that they needed. It was challenging working from home and taking care of three kids. I was able to tend to the baby, work, and spend time with them in a balanced manner. Without a nanny there was no way I could have managed.There were times when I would reflect back at night and think about how quickly my boys were growing up. We would still do things together but I felt guilty that I could not mom 100% with them.When we were doing fun things together I would just make sure it was time well spent. I wouldn’t say it was jealously I felt of the nanny, but I would suggest that she just enjoys the time she spends with him because babies grow up super-fast, while also realizing that she should cherish the nanny and her son’s bond because it shows he is in good hands when she is not around.
Your Kid's Table
Oh my gosh, how heartbreaking for the mother. I can imagine how difficult that is. I agree that it would be helpful to talk to the nanny. How is the situation now?