I think this is a super common issue for so many people who are "parenting in isolation." Try and set up a trade with a neighbor (preferably a mom with kids with no visitors!) so you can each get time; consider a "day date" for a few hours on the weekend which can make it easier to trade babysitting by not having to deal with bed, dinner, etc. A walk around the block together can do wonders. Think quality, not quantity. Also, try setting the kitchen timer and doing a concentrated "operation clean up" together where you both power through for a bit, and then, set the timer for a concentrated time of being together where you can't discuss bills, plans, taxes, or anything stressful, just to talk and catch each other up on the latest inner musings. I think it can be helpful to also have a weekly "taking care of business" conversation where you do discuss the stressful life "planning" things; somehow containing it this way helps stop the stress from leaking all over each day. Also, small but effective; make sure you have pictures up of the just the two of you :-)

My best advice is set a day each week where you have a babysitter, or the grandparents, neighbors, etc. watch the kids and make that your night with your husband. Either go out and have a date night or just stay in the house to spend alone time together. It can be the same day each week, that way it is routine for you and your kids and there is no planning involved. Get everyone on the same page :)