Distracted and Lackadaisical 4th Grader
Posted September 5, 2013 - 1:07pm
Hello everyone! I'm having a dilemma with my nine year old daughter. She simply does not care about school. While in class she doodles, and would rather be a social butterfly. She will not bring her homework worksheets home, write her assigned tasks in her agenda, and when I ask her where these things are, she nonchalantly says "I don't know. I forgot. I don't care." This started last year and it seems no matter what I do (take away her various privileges, have heart-to-heart talks) she continues this behavior. I lie awake a lot of nights because I do not know how to get through to her. Can anyone share some advice for me? I feel helpless and really want to get a handle on it before it's too late.
SoCalMom
Hi! I also have dealt with a similar problem with my pre-teen son. Here is a link to a great article I found about how to deal with your child when they say "I don't care". Hope this helps!http://www.trans4mind.com/counterpoint/index-child-development-parenting/lehman24.shtml
Marshall Herff
Sounds like she is bored and needs a real challenge
CraigK
That's such a tricky age, all you can do is try to be supportive. I've found that if you present a welcoming space for your kid and try your very hardest not to be combative (which we ALL know isn't too easy) then it's at least a start
jonbonjovious
Oh! My heart breaks for you. I have had this child. I went to school with him for one week. I made arrangements with the teacher. I sat in the back of the classroom. I did small tasks for the teacher while there, but I knew what was expected, and what homework there was. I then sat with my child at night while he did homework. After a week, I sat with him, gave the expectations and checked nightly for this material as soon as he came home. If he forgot, we went to the school. If homework wasn't turned in or grades were slipping, I went back to school. It didn't take long for this lesson to sink in. :)
sunnykathleen
Just a thought - have you had her tested for ADD -Attention Deficit Disorder? Could be something to look into. There is a parent questionnaire and one for teachers and her to fill out. You ask your pediatrician about this. Once we did this in our family, we were able to get some accomodations for my daughter that helped turn her school experience around.