While we often think of mediation for divorce, it is a less known fact that mediation can also be used to draft prenuptial agreements. Today many couples are getting married at a later age, or getting married for the second or third time. This changes the amount of assets and debt they are bringing into the marriage and explains why some couples feel that a prenuptial agreement can help laying out their financial path. Spouses who already have children from a previous relationship also think a prenuptial agreement will help guarantee that their own children will be taken care of in the event of a partner’s death.
When couples decide to have a prenuptial agreement, many of them choose to use their own attorneys, because that’s the way it’s always been done. However, this can lead to both partners holding “adversary” positions, relying on their attorneys to get the better end of the deal. One person usually ends up with less negotiating power than the other, and may even call off the wedding if she/he feels coerced into signing an unfair prenuptial agreement.
In contrast to negotiations through attorneys, a mediator levels the playing field, offering each partner an equal say in the discussion. Mediation teaches couples how to discuss and resolves difficult situations. It encourages clear communication, collaboration and respect, something all couples can benefit from at the beginning of their marriage. Mediators have a lot of experience dealing with divorcing couples, so they are well suited to help new couples by offering them advice on to avoid the pitfalls of a bad relationship.
Prenuptial agreement mediation follows a simple process: 1) The couple agrees on which family law mediator to work with. Both partners then discuss their financial situations and personal circumstances that may warrant the use of a prenuptial agreement. An experienced mediator will address any issues unique to the couple’s situation, something a “template” prenuptial agreement may not cover. The parties are in control of the process the whole way through. The mediator will ask many questions regarding the couple’s premarital assets and debts, the management of assets and income after the wedding (who will be in charge of the finances and financial decisions?), long-term financial goals, credit and tax issues, business ownership, etc.
2) The mediator then recommends attorneys for each party who will review the prenuptial agreement, and make sure that both parties understand the legal implications of the drafted agreement. If the partners find an area deserving further discussion, they simply go back together to the mediator, who will then prepares the final prenuptial agreement, which needs to be signed by both parties and their attorneys.
Mediating a prenuptial agreement properly can take some time so it’s a good idea to start the process several months before the wedding’s date, so as to not interfere with wedding preparations. After all, when the time comes, enjoying their wedding day should be all that matters to the happy couple.
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