It is never too late to start focusing on parenting in a more positive way, no matter how old your child is. In fact, positive parenting can be especially helpful during the teen years, which can be some of the hardest of your child’s life. Trying to change the way you parent shows your child you want the best for them, no matter what it takes to get there.
Create Clear Expectations
Your child should understand your expectations from a young age. Share how you expect them to behave, and the ground rules you want them to follow. As your child continues to grow, you should be consistent in enforcing the rules you have in place. It’s important to get them involved in creating the rules because they will feel more responsibility toward them. This also gives them a sense of ownership. As your child changes over time, you should be flexible.
When they are in high school, you probably won't expect them to get a job and pay their own bills. But once they graduate, you might expect them to either start working full-time or go to college. It’s important to be realistic in your expectations. Most recent high school graduates can’t afford to pay for college on their own, and they might need some help from you. While federal loans are one option, they are unlikely to cover everything, and your child might need to look for options to cover the rest of the cost. Cosigning on a private loan with them can help them cover the cost of their education, even if they do not yet have an established credit history.
Encourage Communication Both Ways
As you plan ahead to secure their future, make sure your teen knows they can share their feelings and thoughts with you in a safe space, no matter what’s on their mind. This helps foster more open communication. Your child should know you will always listen to them without judging them. This helps keep the lines of communication open, and it gives you more insight into where they are coming from. It also helps you guide them through life’s challenges and advise where appropriate. Make sure all conversations are honest and respectful.
Respect Your Child’s Privacy
During your child’s teen years, they may want more privacy than they had before, and it is important to respect this need so they can become their own person. Allow them time to make mistakes, figure out what they are interested in, and have unique experiences. When you have good boundaries, your child can be able to explore their own independence, which can help them feel more confident when they are making important decisions in life. You can still give them support when they need it.
Watch Out for Mental Health Issues
Mental health issues affect more teens than you might realize, so it’s important to keep an eye out for the signs so you can catch any issues early. Depression, low self-esteem, and anxiety are all common in teens, so don’t be afraid to seek professional help if your child needs it. Have conversations with your child about their mental health and encourage them to get help whenever they need it. Early intervention gives your child the resources and support they need to overcome these issues. Stay involved in their lives so you get to know them well and will recognize any out-of-the-ordinary signs. Go to their events, keep up with their social life, and connect with their teachers at school. Staying involved with them will also help you offer encouragement when it is needed.
Spend Time Together
Spending time with your child, both one-on-one and as a family, can help you create a more positive family environment for your child. Consider having movie nights with everyone, volunteering, or spending time with friends. These things can help you form better social connections and allow everyone to grow personally. Spending time together can help you better understand your child’s interests and help you support them in what they want to do.
Be Careful about Screen Time
As your child gets older, they may have access to more electronic devices for school or to stay in touch with you. But when your child has unlimited access to screens, they may find themselves filling all their free time with social media and video games. Establish clear limits on how much time your child spends on their devices (Forbes, 2023). This gives them enough time to also focus on building lasting friendships, doing healthier activities, and getting outside.
Be a Great Role Model
Whether or not you think your child is listening to you, your behavior and the things you do are hugely influential on your child. Demonstrate positive behaviors, such as honesty, hard work, and respect to encourage your child to do the same. Share your failures and successes to let them know that mistakes happen, and the most important thing is to learn from them. Evaluating your behavior to see how you can be a better role model will inspire your child to become a more responsible adult.
