The separation of parents can be quite a tough ordeal for any child to take. However, in some cases, getting a divorce can be a much healthier solution for children rather than seeing their parents unhappy and fighting all the time. Because a divorce can affect a child’s entire world it is important to make sure that they go through the least damage possible.
Here are a few tips to help your kids through a divorce.
Talk to Them
Communication is key, especially when it comes to divorce, you need to make sure that your children are aware of what’s happening, what it means, and how the situation will be from here on. As the dynamics of the family will change and the safety of home starts to shatter in a child’s head it is important to explain to them the reasons behind the divorce and make sure they understand that it has nothing to do with them.
It is in a child’s nature to instantly blame themselves or even feel that the divorce will mean that they are no longer loved. As a parent, it is your role to ensure they feel loved and that they understand that your divorce will never change the way you feel about them as mother and father.
Settle Things Calmly
A child is deeply affected when they see their parents fighting, arguing, and on bad terms. The lawyers at MorganDivorceLaw.com explain that it is vital to resolve a divorce peacefully and to plan the steps that need to be taken to get the best out of your divorce. This will not only help your child get through the divorce but will also make the entire process feel like less of a disaster for them.
When they see that things are happening peacefully and they don’t witness the anger, fights, and frustration, it will leave room for you to love them, enjoy their company and feel how their relationship with you will not be impacted as a result of the divorce. Avoid talking negatively about the other parent.
You need to always remember that while you are ending your relationship with your partner, they will always be a main figure in your children’s lives. And just because they hurt you or affected you negatively, it does not mean that they are a bad person. Keeping this in mind will help you speak positively about the other parent and avoid turning your children against them.
When your children see you speaking positively about their other parent, they will start to gradually understand the concept and not feel lost or traumatized having to pick sides or deal with your issues. It also ensures that they feel that their family isn’t coming apart and that regardless of your issues you will continue being their parents and have the same parental roles.
Keep a Fixed Schedule
With everything changing in a child’s life, it could become a bit overwhelming. To help your child transition peacefully and ease the anxiety that comes with these extreme changes, it is best that you have a clear routine and schedule that your child can easily get familiar with. Instead of leaving things to be discussed or giving the children the responsibility of having to choose, you can try and make the divorce as comfortable as possible for them.
This could mean that they stay with the parent who is closest to their school during the week but visit the other parent on the weekends. Or even have an agreement that ensures they will get to spend time with both parents without disrupting their lives or routines. When they follow a schedule that is predictable, it will help them get used to it and be able to fall into a new routine instead of feeling the chaos.
Keep Your Promises
Be very careful with what you say to your child out of good intentions. It is important to be able to keep your word, be realistic, and set the right expectations to avoid causing a greater problem. Make sure your child understands that things will change but that it doesn’t affect how you feel about them instead of promising that nothing will change at all.
A divorce can be really hard to accept for children. But instead of making it worse and causing underlying problems for your child, following these steps and tips can really help to get your children through divorce. As long as both parents are united when it comes to the kids and have their best interest at heart, the children could learn to accept the divorce with minimal damage.
