As a parent, learning that your child needs to heal from anything isn’t always easy. Whether trauma is big or small, it still hurts. While you want to protect your child from anything that could possibly bring them harm or stress, that isn’t always possible. In fact, stress and trauma are an inevitable part of life, and the best way to come out on top isn’t to avoid it at all costs or push it below the surface — in fact, quite the opposite. The healthiest way to heal and truly improve in life is to move forward and put effort into the process of healing. While that might seem like something that requires maturity and life experience, you can begin laying the foundation of teaching your child how to heal right now.
At the end of the day, healing is something all people must do. And it’s something all people can do. So if you are supporting your child through something tough — whether they’re a teen or a tot — your willingness to stand by their side and support them is already a step in the right direction. If you’re looking for the best ways to help your child heal, here’s how you can do it.
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Understand Trauma
If trauma is the question, understanding the nature of trauma is one of the most important things you can do to understand where your child is mentally at the moment. Research estimates that 60-75% of people in North America experience trauma at some point in their lives. This is because trauma is a stress response in the brain, usually in response to a drastic event or prolonged exposure to traumatic situations. It can manifest as denial, fear, anger, sadness, shame, anxiety, confusion, depression and an entire spectrum of emotions. When you make an effort to understand what trauma is, guiding your child through it becomes much easier.
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Offer Support
This often goes without saying, but it’s still worth the mention. Offering extra support to your child when they need it helps them know that they aren’t alone, and reminds them of the support system they have. This can encourage healing and emotional stability. Even the little things can make a huge difference during the healing process.
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Limit Media Exposure
Unfortunately, things like the news, TV, newspapers and even movies are filled with bad news and loss, and if your child just experienced something upsetting, exposing them to the full spectrum of what media has to offer can do more harm than good. While things like TV can be a distraction, they can also trigger people at a moment’s notice. Instead of flipping through channels or watching something new and exciting, try reading old favorite books together or watching media intended for kids — like cartoons or animated films.
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Encourage Normal Activities
While forcing your child to just “go back to normal” isn’t the right solution for healing, neither is letting them sulk and detach from reality. Gently easing your child into activities that make them happy can offer healthy, productive outlets for self expression and growth. Whether they love athletics, a specific class in school or the arts, encouraging them to get back to it however is comfortable for them can kickstart so much healing.
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Seek Professional Support
When anyone goes through a trauma and needs to heal, seeking professional help should be on the priority list. Even adults can benefit from this response, so it makes sense that kids with developing minds should absolutely have access to psychological support. While you as a parent can be there to support them and offer care and kindness, at the end of the day you aren’t a mental health professional. Going to someone outside of their daily life for guidance and support can be productive in the healing process, and as a solid parent, taking that step with them is one of the best things you can offer.
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Ask Them What They Need
Building communication is key, both in terms of your listening skills and their ability to express their needs to you. As the adult, you can encourage them to express themself while still guiding the conversation by asking them gently and regularly what they need from you. One of the most important things you can do is truly listening and making an effort to provide them with what they need, so they know they can truly turn to you.
Helping Our Children Heal
Trauma, stress and the general upsets of life can be tough to bear sometimes, and it can be even tougher to watch your child go through them. But as a loving, supportive and caring parent, you can be there for them and help them learn to heal and process. By asking them about their needs, offering them support and making an effort to understand their trauma, you can guide them on the path to healing, one step at a time.
