Fostering a child is a way to give something back to the local community. In 2023, there were more than 80,000 children in the English care system, and over 107k in the UK as a whole. The UK care system badly needs people to step up and provide a home for children in need. If you are thinking of fostering, here’s how to create a nurturing environment.
Welcoming a Foster Child into Your Home
When a foster child first arrives in your home, it can be an overwhelming experience for everyone. Foster children may have endured trauma and instability, so entering a new home with unfamiliar people can be frightening. Foster families play a crucial role in helping your foster child feel safe, secure and cared for. Here are some tips for welcoming a new foster child into your family:
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Prepare your home together. Involve your own children in making up the new child’s bedroom and gathering toys, books and activities they can enjoy. This helps them feel invested in welcoming the new sibling.
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Learn about their history. Work with social services to understand the child’s background and any past trauma or special needs. This will help you respond sensitively.
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Introduce routines slowly. Too much change at once can be destabilising. Ease the child into your household routines and don’t overwhelm them. Be patient as they adjust.
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Answer questions honestly. Foster children often worry about the safety of their birth parents and if they will return home. Answer gently and truthfully.
Providing Consistent Care and Affection
Foster children need what all children need - care, attention and affection on a consistent basis from their caregivers. As a foster carer, aim to:
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Give warm, responsive care. Be affectionate and nurturing with kind words and active listening. This helps build attachment and trust.
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Have quality one-on-one time. Regularly spend time together reading, playing games, talking or cuddling. This builds bonding and self-esteem.
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Display their artwork or achievements. Make them feel valued by proudly displaying their drawings or school awards.
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Tell them you care. Verbal reassurances of love help heal emotional wounds. Say “I love you” and give sincere praise often.
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Remain patient with challenging behaviours. Understand that outbursts or defiance may stem from complex trauma. Stay calm and consistent.
Creating a Predictable Environment
Foster children thrive on predictability and routine. Aim to provide:
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Regular daily routines. Have set times for meals, school, activities, chores and bedtime. Consistency is calming.
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Clear rules and boundaries. Explain your expectations for behaviour and responsibilities. But limit rules to the essential ones initially.
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Involve them in family life. Include them in holidays, traditions, meals and special events. Being a part of family rituals builds a sense of belonging.
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Minimise disruptions. Try not to frequently change schools, bedrooms or friends, as this exacerbates feelings of impermanence.
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Reassure them during separations. Comfort and distract them when you or other family members travel. Tell them when you will return.
Showing Love and Building Trust
With time, care and reassurance, foster children can form secure attachments and trust their foster family. By meeting their needs for safety and nurturing, you help them heal, build resilience and develop into confident, caring adults. With patience and unconditional love, foster families can transform children's lives.
