Addiction or substance use disorder (SUD), as it’s more properly known, is a mental health condition that has strong genetic and environmental components. While there isn’t anything a parent can do about their genetics, the way they talk about drugs and alcohol and how they use it can be a significant predictor of whether or not their child experiments with substances or develops an SUD later in life.
A recent study shows that children of parents who consume alcohol openly are themselves more likely to develop an alcohol use disorder, later in life. The same holds true for children of parents who openly misuse other substances as well. This goes to show that parents hold an extraordinary influence over their children, one that continues throughout their lives.
If you’re a new parent or are just interested in discussing what drugs are to a child that’s in your care, here are some tips recommended by mental health professionals. To learn more, check out these resources for inpatient drug rehabs in Dallas. Please get in touch with a qualified child counselor to learn more specific approaches to teaching your child.
1.) Start as Early as Possible
How early entirely depends on how precocious your child is. However, you will want to give them the talk well before they start middle school, as this is usually the time a sizable minority of their peers will have tried alcohol or drugs like cannabis and illicit prescription medications. By the time they hit junior high, it may be too late — chances are that close to half of your child’s peers will have done some experimentation, and your input will be far less important to your child.
2.) Be Prepared
The fact is, not a lot of parents give thought to how and why they should discuss drugs and alcohol with their children, perhaps hoping that their school or a “knowledgeable” peer will tell them all they need to know. Unfortunately, neither of these methods is reliable.
Education on drugs and mental health in schools is often too little, too late, not to mention subject to the kind of politicizing that goes against current scientific understanding. Relying on your child to just figure out for themselves may also get them into a world of trouble.
For these reasons, you will want to brush up on the current scientific consensus on substance misuse and mental health before you talk to your children.
3.) Be Ready to Answer Their Questions Honestly
Drugs and alcohol have been part of American culture for centuries, so it will be impossible to shield your kids from the wider discussion on substance use disorders. They will have questions, and it will be important to answer them in a way that is both honest and appropriate for the age that they’re in.
You shouldn’t act like you know everything, either. If they have a question you can’t answer, tell them that you don’t know and find the time to answer it later.
4.) Explain the Importance of Mental Health
Alcohol and drug use problems are, at their core, mental health issues. It becomes next to impossible to have a thoughtful discussion of SUD without this context. Using physical illnesses as a parallel can be a useful way of helping a younger child understand psychiatric conditions.
This will give your child a more accurate way of viewing SUDs and can also help them contextualize things if and when they encounter a challenge to their mental health.
5.) Maintain Open Communication
You don’t want to have a relationship with your child where they will be unable to discuss uncomfortable subjects with you. And while you can delay your answers, pending your finding a more thoughtful way to present them, no topics should be off-limits. This will help ensure that your child will turn to you whenever they’re faced with difficult questions.
6.) Don’t Condemn Drug and Alcohol Users
Going off the previous point, part of maintaining openness is learning to not condemn people whose motivations we do not necessarily understand.
Remember — many of the people who habitually turn to substances have underlying mental health issues. You do not want to give your children the impression that they cannot turn to you for help in case they themselves misuse substances or have mental health issues in the future.
7.) Be Frank About Your Own History With Drugs or Alcohol
If you had problems with drugs and alcohol in the past, it’s important to be able to discuss these with your child in case they ask about them. While you could certainly pretend nothing ever happened, you risk losing your child’s trust forever if they find out otherwise. By preparing and talking things over with your child, you can give them a much more realistic picture of drugs and alcohol, based on your specific experiences.
8.) Let Conversations Happen Organically
Ideally, you don’t want to confuse or embarrass your child by just talking to them about drugs and alcohol out of nowhere. Waiting for them to give a cue or finding the right time to segue into the conversation will usually be far more productive than forcing the issue.
9.) Make Sure The Other Parent Is On The Same Page
Everyone involved in raising your child should understand why you believe in educating them about drugs and alcohol. Even if you and the other parent don’t agree about other things, it’s worthwhile to present a united front on at least this subject. This will prevent confusion and make it easier for your child to find guidance and support from both parents, should they need it.
10.) Keep Checking In
You can’t have just one talk and pretend your job is done. You have to ensure, to the best of your ability, that your child can make an informed decision when they inevitably have access to alcohol and illicit substances.
Make no mistake — this will eventually happen. And when this happens, their choice is not going to be in your hands.
To help steer them to the right choices, make sure to keep checking in with your child throughout both your lives. This will help strengthen your relationship and help you maintain your influence on them (and they, on you) as you both grow older.
As a parent, it’s important to understand the right approaches to teaching your child about drugs and alcohol and to conscientiously weigh their need for agency against their safety. By being proactive in teaching your child about mental health, you don’t just ensure that they make the right choices, you can do your part to help them develop a sense of discernment that will serve them throughout their adult lives.
