I was fortunate enough to grow up in a very large happy family. There were 7 children and two loving parents who were married for many long years. This sounds too good to be true, I know, but now I realize there are many people in this world that are not as fortunate as I was, and I have come to deeply appreciate my upbringing.
Because of all they did, my wonderful parents put me at a natural advantage for being a good mother because I had such good parenting examples to follow. I was trained by the best!
Taught me my values My parents taught me so many wonderful things, I can’t even begin to explain what some of them are, and only now that I am grown and middle aged do I realize the utter importance of all the things they did for me. I am the person I am today, mostly because of what my parents gave me: my values, my emotional stability, my interests, my tendencies and my ability to be a strong individual in the world. I wouldn’t be the person I am now, or achieved anything I have achieved without the constant support of two very special people.
(Miriam and Leo Bresnahan)
So, what values does a child need to grow up strong? I can tell you simply, that a child need strong parents, people who are in themselves good capable people who know the value of hard work and can see the positive side of life. Children have just a few basic needs:
- to feel safe and loved
- a good example to follow
- gentle guidance and encouragement
- constant love and understanding
These are the simple things that my parents provided for me in a stable, consistent way. I knew that whatever happened to me in the world, didn’t matter because my parents would always love me and understand me. No matter what, I always knew that I could come home and talk it over with them. Just knowing I could count on them was more comforting than a spa blanket.
Family activities and encouragement They gave me a great home life with plenty of family activities and outdoor adventures. They taught me to value my family above anything else. They taught me the importance of getting along with my siblings. And, most of all they gave me tons of encouragement to do whatever I wanted to do. They pushed me to try new things and they praised me when I succeeded. This built in me a great sense of confidence and self pride.
Open communication In times of difficulty or trouble, they were never mean and if they were disappointed in me, they never let it show. They never said much in the way of criticism, but when they talked, I listened, because they always gave the kind of advice I could count on. Whatever happened, they only asked me to do the best I could.
If times were tough, they were always at hand to listen to whatever I had to say. Communication was open in my family and nobody kept any secrets. We learned to always be honest and always have faith, no matter what happened.
The bottom line, was that everything I got from my parents made me grow and want to be better at everything I did. They taught me to believe I could achieve anything. They eagerly shared all my experiences. There didn’t seem to be a generation gap. My parents knew everything I did and talked about everything with all of us. It was a crazy, active household with five girls very close in age and one older brother. We did it all and we were all achievers, because we all had such positive loving support.
Leaders and achievers My siblings and I all tried hard at whatever we did. We were leaders and cheerleaders and scholarship winners. Many of us competed in athletics. As a family, we joined the city swim team and became competitive swimmers. Four out of seven went to college. My brother followed dad and became a railroader, the oldest sister went to beauty school, the next daughter went into business, and of the younger four girls, we all got degrees. Two were teachers, one became a manager, and I became a writer/photographer. What a family!
(From oldest to youngest and right to left are Mike, Susie, Sally, Karen, Krista, Laurie and Mary Ann, taken at my mom's 90th Birthday party in Nampa, Idaho.)
And even as we grew up, went to college and moved out of the house, we always had a strong sense of home and security. Mom and dad were always there for us, to listen and help and share our exciting dreams.
We honored our parents Mom and dad both survived to be 90 years old, and lived in their same home until they died. We honored them and took care of them and made sure they had everything the way they wanted because they had always done so much for all of us. They were the best parents anyone could ever have and we all say the same things. We are so grateful for them.
And now, I look back at all the adventures my family has been through and I am am amazed that we all got along so well. I don’t remember a time that my dad ever raised a voice and yelled at my mom. He was a very gentle man. And mom was the voice of encouragement and lived her life through all her daughters who did so much. They were so proud of all of us.
Teaching my children So, now that I am a mother, and my three children are raised, I can say that I have always tried to teach my children the same things that mom and dad taught me: to work hard, be honest, do your best, and know that you are loved. As a mother, I have done everything for my children and I still will. And hopefully I have given them the same values that I was taught.
Developing their own interests Most of all, I have encouraged my kids to be strong by developing their own interests. I taught them to be self-sufficient at early ages by giving them lots of responsibility. I have loved them and raised them in much the same way that my parents raised me.
And now that they are grown, there are times I hear from them about how they remember all the happy family times of their childhood. They appreciate me and tell me I’m a good mom. And they know that they can call me anytime for anything they need, and I will always be there, giving them the same kind of loving devotion that my parents gave me, so generously throughout their lives.
