At least one professional believes that Angelina Jolie may be trying to sever the emotional bonds between her estranged husband, Brad Pitt, and the couple’s adopted children.
Author Barbara Kay found it curious that Ms. Jolie immediately requested sole custody, which is a rarity in California, and accused Mr. Pitt of domestic violence. Moreover, according to some sources, one of the children made an outcry and then later retracted the accusations, a fact which makes some people believe that Ms. Jolie coached the child into making untrue allegations.
Both the FBI and the Department of Children and Family Services concluded that Mr. Pitt did not assault one of his adopted children on an airplane flight between Paris and Los Angeles, as had previously been reported.
PAS
Shaky abuse allegations are very rare in divorce cases, but gamesmanship between the parents is much more widespread. “Susan cannot come see you this weekend because she has a Girl Scout camp.” “I know Dad makes you go to bed at 11 on the weekends, but at my house, you can stay up until midnight.” These exchanges, and others like them, may seem innocuous and routine. However, in many cases, they are warning signs of Parental Alienation Syndrome, a common feature of many high-conflict divorce and family law cases.
PAS is basically the antithesis of co-parenting, because the alienating parent tries to destroy the emotional and/or physical bond between the children and the targeted parent. Most divorce temporary orders address the lowest form of PAS -- disparaging the other parent within the presence or hearing of the children -- and the most extreme form -- parental kidnapping. However, divorce orders hardly ever address the most destructive forms of PAS, and many parents who would never dream of hiding the children from the other parent do not think twice about:
Granting Privileges: Many times, the alienating parent allows children to watch R-rated movies to convey the idea that the targeted parent is somehow less desirable.
Visitation Obstacles: Alienating parents who intentionally schedule extracurricular activities that conflict with the targeted parent's’ visitation essentially put the targets in impossible situations, and the promises of subsequent makeup visitation sometimes go unfulfilled.
Giving In: To be blunt, parents who throw up their hands and say that “Jimmy won’t be visiting this weekend because he refuses to go” aren’t trying hard enough, because parents often bribe, cajole, and/or threaten children into cleaning their rooms, visiting their dads, going to school, and doing all manner of things.
Many cases involve alienating mothers and targeted fathers, but the roles are reversed almost as often.
What to Do
Early intervention, such as meeting with a divorce attorney, is key in these cases, because once the alienating parent damages the relationship between the children and the targeted parent, this damage is almost irreversible. At the same time, it is important not to overreact and pull the trigger too quickly, because no one, especially the judge, likes litigation-happy parents.
If a pattern of behavior emerges, it’s usually best to file a motion to modify based on changed circumstances, those circumstances being the other parent’s inability,or unwillingness, to co-parent. In addition to expanded visitation, this motion should ask for specific ground rules regarding privileges and punishments, so you can’t ingratiate yourself to the children and vice versa.
Most judges order DCFS studies in contested modification cases, and social workers are not only trained to recognize PAS, they are also well aware of its potential negative impact on families. SO, they do not hesitate to make appropriate recommendations, up to and including a change of custody. Judges normally follow these recommendations, because if there’s anything they hate more than vexatious litigants, it’s parents who refuse to even try to get along.
