Most women experience a decrease in sexual desire in the first few years after having a baby and there's a lot going on hormonal changes related to breastfeeding, sleep deprivation and exhaustion and generally feeling touched out from so much constant care giving. Also, women usually need to feel emotionally connected before they can be sexual and men need sex to feel emotionally connected. So, how do we bridge this gap? The key is planed spontaneity. You can no longer just leave it to chance. Now you have to talk, you have to talk about what you need to help you get in a state of mind where you can be sexual. For example, deciding with your partner that on those nights your partner is going to be in charge of the bed and bath routine so that you can have a good hour and a half to be totally kid-free and just soak in the tub and get in a different state of mind.