Intense kids

Parent Educator Rona Renner, RN, shares advice for parents on the best method parenting a child with a high intensity and high maintenance in order to help them calm down and be more patient
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Intense kids

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There are some kids who come into the world with a high intensity. You can see those little babies when they are nursing and their fists are so clenched and that four year old who just loves dress up and make you look at all her plays and says mommy, I love you and the next minute, she goes Mommy, I hate you. These intense children have a jue d´vie, a love of life. They is so much fun. And they can be a little high maintenance also. So realize that intense children love to be the center of attention. They want to let you know how they feel, when they feel it. And that is not going to change much. Now, if you are intense. Your work is to calm down your intensity and then over time teach your child the STAR method: Stop, Think, Act, Reflect. You want to help them come back to themselves, take a minute to think, but in fact it often does not work because they are so emotional. So have a password with your child where you say chill. You go to your room. I will go to my room. Let´s take a minute to think about this and then continue. Intensity is a wonderful thing and sometimes it can really be hard for the parent.

Parent Educator Rona Renner, RN, shares advice for parents on the best method parenting a child with a high intensity and high maintenance in order to help them calm down and be more patient

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Rona Renner, RN

Parent Educator

Rona Renner has been a Registered Nurse for 46 years with a wide range of experience in health care. In the last 20 years she has focused her attention on pediatrics, parent education and advocacy, ADHD and learning differences. In 1992, she was trained by Kaiser Permanente Medical Center as a temperament counselor to help parents understand their child's behavior, and she co-wrote the temperament based parenting class manual. In 2002, she founded Childhood Matters, a non-profit organization producing radio shows in English and Spanish. "Nurse Rona" hosted a weekly call-in radio show for over nine years, and has appeared on many television shows, including CNN and 20/20. Rona is the author of Is That Me Yelling, a book aimed to help parents learn how to effectively communicate with their kids by focusing on their child's unique temperament, and their own. She loves working with parents one-on-one, in groups, or in large workshops. Rona is happily married, has four adult children, and two grandsons.

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Transcription: 
There are some kids who come into the world with a high intensity. You can see those little babies when they are nursing and their fists are so clenched and that four year old who just loves dress up and make you look at all her plays and says mommy, I love you and the next minute, she goes Mommy, I hate you. These intense children have a jue d´vie, a love of life. They is so much fun. And they can be a little high maintenance also. So realize that intense children love to be the center of attention. They want to let you know how they feel, when they feel it. And that is not going to change much. Now, if you are intense. Your work is to calm down your intensity and then over time teach your child the STAR method: Stop, Think, Act, Reflect. You want to help them come back to themselves, take a minute to think, but in fact it often does not work because they are so emotional. So have a password with your child where you say chill. You go to your room. I will go to my room. Let´s take a minute to think about this and then continue. Intensity is a wonderful thing and sometimes it can really be hard for the parent.