Parenting other children after the loss of a child

Psychotherapist Amy Luster, MA, MFT, shares advice for parents who have lost a child on the best way to go about overcoming the challenges of parenting your other children
Advice For Parenting Other Children After The Loss Of A Child
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Parenting other children after the loss of a child

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If you have lost a child and are still parenting the other children in your family, know that you will have a lot of challenges in the days and weeks to come. Be patient with yourself and with the other people in your family. You are all going through the grieving process in your own way and will have different feelings and thoughts at different times. Encourage open communication, as much as possible. Know that you and your children will be going through the grieving process in your own unique way. Children often grieve very differently from adults. You may see quiet, sad, depressed-like behavior; but you also might see them extremely physical, even acting out or just expressing their feelings through imaginative play. All of this is normal. Convey your understanding, yet at the same time, maintain limits and structure for yourself and your children. Be aware to fall prey to the sense of guilt or blame. These are really distractions from a sense of helplessness that is so normal during this time. Know that gradually, things will start to get a little bit better.

Psychotherapist Amy Luster, MA, MFT, shares advice for parents who have lost a child on the best way to go about overcoming the challenges of parenting your other children

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Amy Luster, MA, MFT

Psychotherapist

Amy Luster, MA, is a psychotherapist and author. She holds a Masters in Clinical Psychology and is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and provides psychotherapy to individuals, couples, and families. She runs a group entitled, Parenting After a Loss which offers support, guidance, and education. Her emphasis is on assisting parents who have experienced a child-bearing loss whether from ongoing infertility, miscarriage, stillbirth or the death of a baby. Her goal is to help families function in a healthy, satisfying way despite their past loss. Amy, her husband and their four children live in Santa Monica, CA. 

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Transcription: 
If you have lost a child and are still parenting the other children in your family, know that you will have a lot of challenges in the days and weeks to come. Be patient with yourself and with the other people in your family. You are all going through the grieving process in your own way and will have different feelings and thoughts at different times. Encourage open communication, as much as possible. Know that you and your children will be going through the grieving process in your own unique way. Children often grieve very differently from adults. You may see quiet, sad, depressed-like behavior; but you also might see them extremely physical, even acting out or just expressing their feelings through imaginative play. All of this is normal. Convey your understanding, yet at the same time, maintain limits and structure for yourself and your children. Be aware to fall prey to the sense of guilt or blame. These are really distractions from a sense of helplessness that is so normal during this time. Know that gradually, things will start to get a little bit better.