Living through the death of a child

Psychotherapist Amy Luster, MA, MFT, shares advice for parents who have lost a child on how to cope with the grieving process and best move forward after the loss of a child
Living Through The Death Of A Child
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Living through the death of a child

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If you have lost a child I encourage you to patient with yourself and your spouse. Know that you are each going to be grieving in your own way. Second of all, I encourage you to take time. Avoid losing yourself in your work. Postpone making any major life decision for at least the first year. Make sure that you are taking good care of yourself physically. Ensure that you are getting adequate rest, eating nutritiously, drinking plenty of water and getting some sort of physical exercise everyday even if it is just a short walk in the beginning. Avoid the use of drugs or alcohol because these will just postpone the grieving process. Expect your memory and concentration to be off. If you have other children take the time to explain to them in simple and concrete ways what has happened. Avoid the use of euthanisms to explain the death. Know that it is okay for your children to see you grieving. Include them in this process. Know that your life will never be the normal that it was, but that adjust to the new normal. Find a way to memorialize your baby or child. Know that in time things will get better.

Psychotherapist Amy Luster, MA, MFT, shares advice for parents who have lost a child on how to cope with the grieving process and best move forward after the loss of a child

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Amy Luster, MA, MFT

Psychotherapist

Amy Luster, MA, is a psychotherapist and author. She holds a Masters in Clinical Psychology and is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and provides psychotherapy to individuals, couples, and families. She runs a group entitled, Parenting After a Loss which offers support, guidance, and education. Her emphasis is on assisting parents who have experienced a child-bearing loss whether from ongoing infertility, miscarriage, stillbirth or the death of a baby. Her goal is to help families function in a healthy, satisfying way despite their past loss. Amy, her husband and their four children live in Santa Monica, CA. 

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Transcription: 
If you have lost a child I encourage you to patient with yourself and your spouse. Know that you are each going to be grieving in your own way. Second of all, I encourage you to take time. Avoid losing yourself in your work. Postpone making any major life decision for at least the first year. Make sure that you are taking good care of yourself physically. Ensure that you are getting adequate rest, eating nutritiously, drinking plenty of water and getting some sort of physical exercise everyday even if it is just a short walk in the beginning. Avoid the use of drugs or alcohol because these will just postpone the grieving process. Expect your memory and concentration to be off. If you have other children take the time to explain to them in simple and concrete ways what has happened. Avoid the use of euthanisms to explain the death. Know that it is okay for your children to see you grieving. Include them in this process. Know that your life will never be the normal that it was, but that adjust to the new normal. Find a way to memorialize your baby or child. Know that in time things will get better.