How to keep the deceased parent in your child's life

Transcription:

I keep Liz alive in my daughter's life in so many ways. Every single day we talk about her. I've got photos around the house of Liz. And she's just as big a part of our life as she would be if she were here, quite honestly. We talk about her constantly. I tell Madeline not only the great stories and the wonderful things I remember about her mom, but I also tell her the things that drove me absolutely insane about her mom, the things that really upset me and the things she used to yell at me about, because I think keeping her alive is so important, but not doing it in a way that makes it seem like she's some mythical figure that didn't exist. I want Madeline to know about her mom's flaws. I want her to know what a great and amazing woman she was, because she was. She was the greatest person I ever met in my entire life. But she wasn't perfect. None of us are. And so, I like to make sure that Madeline gets all sides of that as often as possible. We also spend a significant amount of time with my wife's family. I'm extremely close to her parents and her sister. We vacation with them quite frequently. We spend a lot of time at home with them. When we're back home in Minnesota we stay with them and we make sure that they come out and visit as often as they can possibly can. And on top of that, we're really, really great friends with Liz's friends that still live out here, so Maddie gets to know the people that knew Liz in a different way. So it's not just family and me. She gets to hear different stories. She gets to hear about who her mom was in college, which will be a lot of fun for her some day. She gets to hear about who her mom was at work. And those are things that I can't share because I don't have any insight into that. I only know the Liz that I knew. So those are things I think are important for Madeline, to be able to have the insights of all of these people that knew her and loved her and that can be honest about who she was. That just keeps her alive in every way that we could ever hope.

Video Categories: ALL PARENTS, Grief and Loss, Children and Grief

Matthew Logelin, Best-selling Author & Blogger, shares advice for parents with a deceased spouse on the best way to help keep your child's deceased parent in their lives

Transcript

Expert Bio

Matthew Logelin

Bestselling Author & Blogger

Matthew Logelin is the author of the New York Times bestselling memoir, Two Kisses for Maddy, as well as the acclaimed and award-winning blog, Matt, Liz, & Madeline. His essays have been featured in the Huffington Post, Glamour Magazine, Mamalode Magazine, and The Shriver Report: A Woman’s Nation Changes Everything.

Two Kisses for Maddy was the winner of the Goodreads Choice Award in the Best Memoir & Autobiography category, 2011, has been translated to four languages and was recently optioned by the Lifetime network, to be adapted for the small screen by Marta Kauffman (Friends) and Denise DiNovi (Crazy, Stupid Love; The Lucky One).

Matt is also the founder and president of The Liz Logelin Foundation, a non-profit organization founded in honor of his late wife, with the sole purpose of providing hope for young widowed families (regardless of marital status or sexual orientation) through financial assistance and necessary resources. Since its founding in 2009, The Liz Logelin Foundation has given grants to more than 120 families. Most importantly, Matt is the father to four-year-old Madeline. His toughest critic most days, she is also his biggest fan. He spends his days helping her refine her taste in music and books. They live in Los Angeles but travel often to see as much of the world as possible.

Parenting expert on: Suffering and Grief Support, Children and Grief, Parents with a Purpose, Parenting Golden Nuggets

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