The importance of finding an accepting community for your gay child

What can parents do to ensure that their gay child is finding an accepting community? Lynette Vertoch gives parents tips on finding the support that they need in all different types of environments.
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The importance of finding an accepting community for your gay child

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It takes more than just a family accepting a gay child for them to be successful because they’re not just with their family, they’re out in the world everyday. They are at school. They’re out in the society. If they are constantly feeling that something wrong with them, are they being beaten down or bullied, I mean we all know the statistics on suicide of gay kids. Some of them have come from supportive families, lots of them have. It is the most important thing to keep them in an environment where like any child, where they feel safe? Where they’re safe? With the gay child, there are extra concerns about safety. It takes a lot more. I mean it’s great to start it at home and to start it with the extended family, but it’s going to go beyond that. You’ve got to know that you’re sending your child everyday to school in an environment where they’re safe. Check to see if there’s a Gay Straight Alliance at their school. We have told him over the years that there are places yet you’ve just got to tone it down. He is a little flamboyant. We have said that when you’re here you’ve got to tone it down, not because you need to change who you are. You never need to change who you are, but just for your own safety, but having them in an environment especially at school where they’re safe. I mean there is really nothing more important.

What can parents do to ensure that their gay child is finding an accepting community? Lynette Vertoch gives parents tips on finding the support that they need in all different types of environments.

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Lynette Vertoch

Mom & Entrepreneur

Lynette Vertoch is an entrepreneur with a small company she runs with her husband in Seattle, called Cameos & Crowns. In her words, the company designs "these very cool dish towels, pillows, cosmetic bags and aprons."  She has two children, Harris, 16 and Izzy, 13. Harris is gay and Izzy is not. She is divorced from their dad and married to a wonderful man who has been their stepdad for seven years now.  She and her ex-husband and current husband all parent the kids together (even though they live in different states) and are all close as a family - they even vacation together.

More Parenting Videos from Lynette Vertoch >
Transcription: 
It takes more than just a family accepting a gay child for them to be successful because they’re not just with their family, they’re out in the world everyday. They are at school. They’re out in the society. If they are constantly feeling that something wrong with them, are they being beaten down or bullied, I mean we all know the statistics on suicide of gay kids. Some of them have come from supportive families, lots of them have. It is the most important thing to keep them in an environment where like any child, where they feel safe? Where they’re safe? With the gay child, there are extra concerns about safety. It takes a lot more. I mean it’s great to start it at home and to start it with the extended family, but it’s going to go beyond that. You’ve got to know that you’re sending your child everyday to school in an environment where they’re safe. Check to see if there’s a Gay Straight Alliance at their school. We have told him over the years that there are places yet you’ve just got to tone it down. He is a little flamboyant. We have said that when you’re here you’ve got to tone it down, not because you need to change who you are. You never need to change who you are, but just for your own safety, but having them in an environment especially at school where they’re safe. I mean there is really nothing more important.