Helping a toddler who hits

Allison LaTona, MFT Parent Educator, shares advice for parents on the best methods for teaching your toddler to stop hitting others
How to Stop a Toddler from Hitting
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Helping a toddler who hits

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When dealing with hitting with your toddler, it is important for parents to understand the development of the toddler. Toddlers are limited in their impulse control, run by their bodies, at the mercy of their bodies. And they are limited in language and memory. They are also very limited in their ability to have empathy, and that is to understand another´s experience. So toddlers use their body to communicate as a replacement for the language. Parents need to come down, stop their child´s body, touch them, and tell them the rule. Hitting is not okay. Give them some information about the rule: hitting hurts. And then, direct them into an appropriate choice such as you can say don´t to Johnny but we can´t hit Johnny. You can say stop to Johnny but we can´t hit Johnny. And over time as the child is stopped and taught what the appropriate choice is, they will begin to make those choices on their own.

Allison LaTona, MFT Parent Educator, shares advice for parents on the best methods for teaching your toddler to stop hitting others

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Allison LaTona, MFT

Parent Educator, Marriage & Family Therapist

Allison LaTona, MFT, is a marriage and family therapist, whose life-changing consultation groups provide a practical and compassionate roadmap for those navigating the journey of parenthood. LaTona has 18 years of experience counseling children, families, couples and individuals, and has facilitated groups in private practice, as well as at Santa Monica's Babygroup with Donna Holloran, MSW, for over a decade. La Tona is an author for Twigtale, an online resource for creating transition books for young children.  

Focusing on respectful parenting philosophies, the power of language, emotional intelligence, and a child's natural developmental capabilities, LaTona offers specific strategies and invaluable insights that ease the inherent challenges of contemporary parenthood. Her work empowers parents with the vision and tools to create thriving and fulfilling family lives, and fosters long-term connections within a supportive community. With 13 years "in the trenches" raising two young children of her own, LaTona's personal path complements her professional credentials. Her empathy, experience, and dedication fuel her passionate commitment to her work.

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Transcription: 
When dealing with hitting with your toddler, it is important for parents to understand the development of the toddler. Toddlers are limited in their impulse control, run by their bodies, at the mercy of their bodies. And they are limited in language and memory. They are also very limited in their ability to have empathy, and that is to understand another´s experience. So toddlers use their body to communicate as a replacement for the language. Parents need to come down, stop their child´s body, touch them, and tell them the rule. Hitting is not okay. Give them some information about the rule: hitting hurts. And then, direct them into an appropriate choice such as you can say don´t to Johnny but we can´t hit Johnny. You can say stop to Johnny but we can´t hit Johnny. And over time as the child is stopped and taught what the appropriate choice is, they will begin to make those choices on their own.