When to talk to your kids about sex

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When to talk to your kids about sex

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It's really important to talk to kids about sex and sexuality when they are very young. Now, this might sound of crazy or you might think I'm crazy, you might think I'm brilliant. It's best to start talking to your kids about sex. I mean, the whole thing -- Penis goes in vagina, how babies are made, how the baby gets in there, how the babies get out of there -- in about Kindergarten. The reason it's Kindergarten is they are off in the big, wide world and they are talking to other folks who have lots of information that might not be accurate. When you start sooner, rather than later, you establish yourself as the expert; their sex expert. You want your kids to see you as their sexual expert in their life. The last reason is because kids who know about sex, know it's not for children, and have really open relationships with their parents, families, and caregivers are protected from sexual abuse. Those guys look for innocence and clueless. They want them to not have an understanding that this is something that is for later in life. They don't want them to be communicating with their parents because they want to hurt children and get away with hurting children. Talking sooner, rather than later, is better.

Watch Amy Lang, MA's video on When to talk to your kids about sex...

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Amy Lang, MA

Sex Education Expert

Despite her 16 years of experience as a sexual health educator, Amy Lang found herself completely tongue-tied when her four year old son had "something very important" to tell her about his penis. Shocked by her discomfort, she realized if she was struggling, other parents must be too. Amy also holds an MA in Applied Behavioral Science and her focus was in adult education and group facilitation. She decided to combine her love of sex talking and her love of working with adults and started Birds + Bees + Kids in 2006.

Amy is a three time Mom’s Choice Award winner for her book, Birds + Bees + YOUR Kids - A Guide To Sharing Your Beliefs About Sexuality, Love and Relationships and DVD, Birds + Bees + Kids - The Basics. She is also the author of the book, Say What?! The Birds + Bees for Progressive Parents - What to Say and How to Say It!

She has been featured in the Wall Street Journal, Seattle Magazine, Parent Map magazine and has contributed to a gazillion other publications. Sex advice guru Dan Savage says “Amy is a parent’s best friend-with-benefits when it comes to talking to kids about sex.” 

Though Birds + Bees + Kids, Amy helps parents of all beliefs have easy, open and effective conversations about sexuality, love and relationships with their kids. She offers talks, workshops, one-on-one consultations and live webcasts. Amy is also the co-founder of MamaCON - Inspiration and Tools for Modern Moms, a conference supporting the hard work of moms everywhere.

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Transcription: 
It's really important to talk to kids about sex and sexuality when they are very young. Now, this might sound of crazy or you might think I'm crazy, you might think I'm brilliant. It's best to start talking to your kids about sex. I mean, the whole thing -- Penis goes in vagina, how babies are made, how the baby gets in there, how the babies get out of there -- in about Kindergarten. The reason it's Kindergarten is they are off in the big, wide world and they are talking to other folks who have lots of information that might not be accurate. When you start sooner, rather than later, you establish yourself as the expert; their sex expert. You want your kids to see you as their sexual expert in their life. The last reason is because kids who know about sex, know it's not for children, and have really open relationships with their parents, families, and caregivers are protected from sexual abuse. Those guys look for innocence and clueless. They want them to not have an understanding that this is something that is for later in life. They don't want them to be communicating with their parents because they want to hurt children and get away with hurting children. Talking sooner, rather than later, is better.