Oral sex and teens

Learn the best methods for talking to your child about oral sex and why it is so important to discuss it with them, with advice from Amy Lang, Sex Education Expert
How to Talk to Your Child About Oral Sex
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Oral sex and teens

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We are hearing a lot of information about kids engaging in oral sex at really young ages. In middle school, and sometimes even at 12 years old. It seems like this has become more and more popular as a sexual activity. From what we understand, there is a lot more oral sex happening from back when I was growing up. You need to talk with your kids about oral sex before they start middle school. They need to understand what it is and what your values are about it. It's not a casual, sexual act. Talk to them about how they can get sexually transmitted infections in their mouths and talk to them about their reputations. It looks like kids are choosing to have oral sex because it is safer than having vaginal sex. They won't get pregnant. Sometimes girls are engaging in oral sex with boys as a power play. I think it's important that girls really understand that providing oral sex to a boy that they are not in an intimate relationship is not going to be particularly sexually satisfying to them. Your kids need to understand that oral sex is part of an intimate relationship. It shouldn't be done casually because they can get infections in their mouth and they can get a reputation. Kids talk. So it's important to understand your values about oral sex. Be prepared to hear about it, possibly witness it, and maybe be asked to engage in it.

Learn the best methods for talking to your child about oral sex and why it is so important to discuss it with them, with advice from Amy Lang, Sex Education Expert

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Amy Lang, MA

Sex Education Expert

Despite her 16 years of experience as a sexual health educator, Amy Lang found herself completely tongue-tied when her four year old son had "something very important" to tell her about his penis. Shocked by her discomfort, she realized if she was struggling, other parents must be too. Amy also holds an MA in Applied Behavioral Science and her focus was in adult education and group facilitation. She decided to combine her love of sex talking and her love of working with adults and started Birds + Bees + Kids in 2006.

Amy is a three time Mom’s Choice Award winner for her book, Birds + Bees + YOUR Kids - A Guide To Sharing Your Beliefs About Sexuality, Love and Relationships and DVD, Birds + Bees + Kids - The Basics. She is also the author of the book, Say What?! The Birds + Bees for Progressive Parents - What to Say and How to Say It!

She has been featured in the Wall Street Journal, Seattle Magazine, Parent Map magazine and has contributed to a gazillion other publications. Sex advice guru Dan Savage says “Amy is a parent’s best friend-with-benefits when it comes to talking to kids about sex.” 

Though Birds + Bees + Kids, Amy helps parents of all beliefs have easy, open and effective conversations about sexuality, love and relationships with their kids. She offers talks, workshops, one-on-one consultations and live webcasts. Amy is also the co-founder of MamaCON - Inspiration and Tools for Modern Moms, a conference supporting the hard work of moms everywhere.

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Transcription: 
We are hearing a lot of information about kids engaging in oral sex at really young ages. In middle school, and sometimes even at 12 years old. It seems like this has become more and more popular as a sexual activity. From what we understand, there is a lot more oral sex happening from back when I was growing up. You need to talk with your kids about oral sex before they start middle school. They need to understand what it is and what your values are about it. It's not a casual, sexual act. Talk to them about how they can get sexually transmitted infections in their mouths and talk to them about their reputations. It looks like kids are choosing to have oral sex because it is safer than having vaginal sex. They won't get pregnant. Sometimes girls are engaging in oral sex with boys as a power play. I think it's important that girls really understand that providing oral sex to a boy that they are not in an intimate relationship is not going to be particularly sexually satisfying to them. Your kids need to understand that oral sex is part of an intimate relationship. It shouldn't be done casually because they can get infections in their mouth and they can get a reputation. Kids talk. So it's important to understand your values about oral sex. Be prepared to hear about it, possibly witness it, and maybe be asked to engage in it.