The important difference between nagging and reminding

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The important difference between nagging and reminding

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There's a big difference to a child in a nag versus a gentle remind. A nag means from the start that you're already disappointed with your child, that they haven't done what they were supposed to do. Whereas a gentle reminder is more of a partnership. It's, I know you have a lot on your mind. Let's not forget to do this. So I think as parents you want to get away from this nag-nag-nag all the time because it puts a real negative energy on the interaction. It's much nicer to remind your child, because that means that you trust that you know what the right thing to do is, and that's a very important message. Think about the relationship between the two parents. Nobody can remember what to do all the time. If you say to your partner, you didn't take out the trash, it's much different than saying, let's not forget to take out the trash this morning. The tone is different in that interaction. And people in generally are much more likely to help and participate when they feel that there's a positive energy around the task than a negative energy.

View Alanna Levine, MD's video on The important difference between nagging and reminding...

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Alanna Levine, MD

Pediatrician & Author

Dr. Alanna Levine is a New York-based pediatrician and a mom of two children.  As a spokesperson for the American Academy of Pediatrics, Dr. Levine frequently appears on television and in print speaking about breaking medical news and common parenting topics.  Dr. Levine is also a contributor for BabyCenter.com, on the board of advisors for GetSweaty.com, and on the executive committee for the American Academy of Pediatrics’ Council on Communications and Media.Dr. Levine sees patients at Orangetown Pediatric Associates in New York and is on staff at Nyack Hospital and Englewood Hospital and Medical Center.   She completed her internship and residency at the Mount Sinai Hospital, received her medical degree at Sackler School of Medicine in Tel Aviv, Israel, a master’s degree in medical sciences from Boston University, and a bachelor’s degree from the University of Wisconsin.

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Transcription: 
There's a big difference to a child in a nag versus a gentle remind. A nag means from the start that you're already disappointed with your child, that they haven't done what they were supposed to do. Whereas a gentle reminder is more of a partnership. It's, I know you have a lot on your mind. Let's not forget to do this. So I think as parents you want to get away from this nag-nag-nag all the time because it puts a real negative energy on the interaction. It's much nicer to remind your child, because that means that you trust that you know what the right thing to do is, and that's a very important message. Think about the relationship between the two parents. Nobody can remember what to do all the time. If you say to your partner, you didn't take out the trash, it's much different than saying, let's not forget to take out the trash this morning. The tone is different in that interaction. And people in generally are much more likely to help and participate when they feel that there's a positive energy around the task than a negative energy.