How to ask your child to do something for you

Chris Fulton, PhD Clinical Psychologist, shares advice for parents on the best ways to ask your child to do something for you
How To Ask Your Child To Do Something For You | Parenting Tips
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How to ask your child to do something for you

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Some of the things you need to do to really set some of the first steps in asking your child to do things they don’t want to do is to make sure to automize as much as you can, because a lot of times, you’re constantly asking your child to take out the trash, or clean their room or make their bed in the morning, but what you want to do is automize it. You want to make sure that there is a set routine, so that way you’re not constantly asking them to do things. Again, it will just irritate them. One of the other things I like to do is to use different methods to ask them to do things. Like, you know, instead of asking them directly and verbally, where they might engage in a little bit of a tantrum or an outburst, what you do is you write it down and you kind of leave it on the table or you text it to them and it takes some of the emotions out of it and they won’t, you know, have such a harsh reaction. The other thing, don’t ask them to do things that you’re not going to follow through with. Because, guess what – they’ll know if you’re not going to follow through. So make sure to limit the number of requests that you have during the day.

Chris Fulton, PhD Clinical Psychologist, shares advice for parents on the best ways to ask your child to do something for you

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Chris Fulton, PhD

Clinical Psychologist

Dr. Christopher Fulton is a licensed clinical psychologist and has been in private practice for over ten years. He received his doctorate in 1994 from the California School of Professional Psychology, Los Angeles. Dr. Fulton has clinical training and experience in a variety of settings, and also has administrative, teaching, supervision, consulting, research and psychological testing experience. Dr. Fulton provides consultation and ongoing therapy for children, adolescents and adults. He conducts group, individual, couples and family therapy and actively works with a variety of childhood disorders, including: adjustment disorder, ADHD, anxiety, depression, oppositional defiant and other emotional-behavioral disorders. Among his most frequent areas of concentration is divorce, for which Dr. Fulton offers therapy for all involved.

Utilizing research-supported methods in treatment, Dr. Fulton's approach to therapy involves a combination of cognitive-behavioral, family systems and interpersonal interventions. In his work with children, Dr. Fulton involves parents and assists them in developing appropriate responses to their children, since he believes that ultimately the parent will make the most significant impact on the child. Dr. Fulton helps parents establish appropriate boundaries, communication and methods of discipline in order to increase positive relationships with their children.

 
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Transcription: 
Some of the things you need to do to really set some of the first steps in asking your child to do things they don’t want to do is to make sure to automize as much as you can, because a lot of times, you’re constantly asking your child to take out the trash, or clean their room or make their bed in the morning, but what you want to do is automize it. You want to make sure that there is a set routine, so that way you’re not constantly asking them to do things. Again, it will just irritate them. One of the other things I like to do is to use different methods to ask them to do things. Like, you know, instead of asking them directly and verbally, where they might engage in a little bit of a tantrum or an outburst, what you do is you write it down and you kind of leave it on the table or you text it to them and it takes some of the emotions out of it and they won’t, you know, have such a harsh reaction. The other thing, don’t ask them to do things that you’re not going to follow through with. Because, guess what – they’ll know if you’re not going to follow through. So make sure to limit the number of requests that you have during the day.