Where and how to have sensitive talks with your child

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Where and how to have sensitive talks with your child

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I think the very best place to have a sensitive conversation is the car. The reason why is, you are sitting in the front seat driving, and if your child is under 12, they are in the back seat. Even if they are over the age of 12 and sitting in the front seat, they are facing forward and you are facing forward. You're not making eye contact. When it comes to a sensitive conversation, you want to avoid that eye contact with your child, or at least, your child wants to avoid that eye contact with you. I also love the car because it's a contained space, it's just you and your child. The conversation can be as long or as short as you need because you can control it. You can go around the block an extra time, you can have trouble finding a parking space. You can really drag out the conversation if you need to do that. Now, if you don't have access to a car or if you are never alone with your child in the car, there are other ways to have avoid a little bit of eye contact. You can go for a walk or a hike or a jog because, again, you are facing forward and you don't have to have eye contact. I think the hardest place to have an intimate conversation with your child is in there room, sitting on their bed. The reason why is you are in their space, their safe place. The reason why is that you are forced to look at each other and when the topic is sensitive, that becomes a little tricky. Only do that if your child invites you into her room and says, "Now, I want to talk about something with you."

View Cara Natterson, MD's video on Where and how to have sensitive talks with your child...

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Cara Natterson, MD

Pediatrician & Author

Cara Natterson, MD has treated thousands of children and guided their parents as well. She was a partner at Tenth Street Pediatrics in Santa Monica, California, a large group practice serving infants, children and teenagers. She now runs Worry Proof Consulting, the first of its kind pediatric practice that offers parents open-ended time to review everything from medical questions and biology basics to child development and parenting issues. Cara is also the author of several books on parenting and child health. She has a unique ability to translate cutting edge research into understandable terms for parents and their kids. More recently, Cara’s consulting has extended beyond individual families to include fortune 500 companies seeking expert advice on safety issues, child health, and crisis management.

Cara has appeared on television, in print, and on the web. She is a graduate of Harvard College and Johns Hopkins School of Medicine, and she trained in pediatrics at the University of California at San Francisco. Cara is a Board certified pediatrician and a Fellow of the American Academy of Pediatrics. And anyone who knows her knows that Cara is, by nature, one of the most risk-averse people on earth. She lives in California with her husband and two children.

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Transcription: 
I think the very best place to have a sensitive conversation is the car. The reason why is, you are sitting in the front seat driving, and if your child is under 12, they are in the back seat. Even if they are over the age of 12 and sitting in the front seat, they are facing forward and you are facing forward. You're not making eye contact. When it comes to a sensitive conversation, you want to avoid that eye contact with your child, or at least, your child wants to avoid that eye contact with you. I also love the car because it's a contained space, it's just you and your child. The conversation can be as long or as short as you need because you can control it. You can go around the block an extra time, you can have trouble finding a parking space. You can really drag out the conversation if you need to do that. Now, if you don't have access to a car or if you are never alone with your child in the car, there are other ways to have avoid a little bit of eye contact. You can go for a walk or a hike or a jog because, again, you are facing forward and you don't have to have eye contact. I think the hardest place to have an intimate conversation with your child is in there room, sitting on their bed. The reason why is you are in their space, their safe place. The reason why is that you are forced to look at each other and when the topic is sensitive, that becomes a little tricky. Only do that if your child invites you into her room and says, "Now, I want to talk about something with you."