When self-advocacy in girls isn't well-received

Educator, Rachel Simmons, Author of Odd Girl Out, discusses girls' self-esteem and self-confidence
How To Teach Girls To Speak Up For Themselves - Parenting Advice
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When self-advocacy in girls isn't well-received

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We all want girls to speak up , but at the same time we have to be aware of reality which is that our society still isn’t quite sure how much it wants to support out-spoken women. Speaking up is only part of the process. There’s no guarantee what’s gonna happen. We may not get what we want. The person may walk away. The person may make fun of us but the practice of raising your voice, of making yourself heard, of standing up for what you believe in is just as important as what happens afterwards. It’s so important for every parent to keep in mind that the more girls flex their muscles to speak up, the more comfortable they’re going to be and that is almost as important as any good outcome they’re going to have. They have to be able to flex those muscles when they need them. If you’re always looking for the perfect outcome, no one will ever speak up. Focus on the process. Focus on what is gained from trying to talk and don’t worry so much about what happens after that. Remember the big picture lesson your daughter is learning.

Educator, Rachel Simmons, Author of Odd Girl Out, discusses girls' self-esteem and self-confidence

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Rachel Simmons

Author & Educator

Rachel Simmons is the author of the New York Times bestsellers Odd Girl Out: The Hidden Culture of Aggression in Girls, and The Curse of the Good Girl: Raising Authentic Girls with Courage and Confidence. As an educator, Rachel works internationally to empower young women to be more authentic, assertive and self-aware.

Rachel is a Vassar graduate and Rhodes Scholar from New York. The co-founder of the Girls Leadership Institute, she is an experienced curriculum writer and educator who works with schools and organizations around the world. She currently develops leadership programs for undergraduate women at the Center for Work and Life at Smith College. She has previously worked as a classroom teacher in Massachusetts and South Africa.

Rachel was the host of the recent PBS television special, “A Girl’s Life,” and is a contributing writer and advice columnist for Teen Vogue.

Rachel has appeared on Oprah and the Today show, and appears regularly in the national me- dia. Odd Girl Out was adapted into a highly acclaimed Lifetime television movie. Rachel lives in western Massachusetts with her daughter and West Highland Terrier, Rosie, who is currently taking private workshops with Rachel to learn how to stop bullying other dogs.

For more information, please visit www.rachelsimmons.com.

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Transcription: 
We all want girls to speak up , but at the same time we have to be aware of reality which is that our society still isn’t quite sure how much it wants to support out-spoken women. Speaking up is only part of the process. There’s no guarantee what’s gonna happen. We may not get what we want. The person may walk away. The person may make fun of us but the practice of raising your voice, of making yourself heard, of standing up for what you believe in is just as important as what happens afterwards. It’s so important for every parent to keep in mind that the more girls flex their muscles to speak up, the more comfortable they’re going to be and that is almost as important as any good outcome they’re going to have. They have to be able to flex those muscles when they need them. If you’re always looking for the perfect outcome, no one will ever speak up. Focus on the process. Focus on what is gained from trying to talk and don’t worry so much about what happens after that. Remember the big picture lesson your daughter is learning.