The pros and cons of twins at separate colleges

Joan Friedman, PhD Psychologist & Twin Expert, shares advice for parents of twins on the pros and cons of twins attending different colleges and how parents can help them experience college on their own
Raising Twins | The Pros And Cons Of Twins Going To Separate Colleges
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The pros and cons of twins at separate colleges

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When twins are deciding whether they are going to go to the same university or not, parents need to remember that twins are fiercely loyal to one another, no matter their ups and downs. When one twin makes a decision that is going to impact the other, they are very reticent to articulate what they feel and what they want for fear of hurting their twin. Parents need to remember that twins need experiences on their own. They need to be able to manage separation. They need to be able to handle academic challenges. And they need to learn how to be socially relatable to other people, without their twin. Parents need to help their twins not be robbed of the experience of being on their own. It's unhealthy and unfair to do that. A parental job is to help twins redefine their twin relationship, so that they can relate to one another as two separate adults.

Joan Friedman, PhD Psychologist & Twin Expert, shares advice for parents of twins on the pros and cons of twins attending different colleges and how parents can help them experience college on their own

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Joan Friedman, PhD

Psychologist & Twin Expert

Dr. Joan A. Friedman is a prominent and well-respected twin expert who shares her passionate views and insights about twins and their emotional needs with twins and their families throughout the world. The fact that she is an identical twin and the mother of five, including fraternal twin sons, makes her ideally suited to this task. Her commitment to twin research and her treatment of twins of all ages demonstrate the breadth and depth of her skills and experience. She conducts ongoing groups for parents of twins and provides consultation on twin related matters such as school placements, developmental discrepancies, and behavioral issues.

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Transcription: 
When twins are deciding whether they are going to go to the same university or not, parents need to remember that twins are fiercely loyal to one another, no matter their ups and downs. When one twin makes a decision that is going to impact the other, they are very reticent to articulate what they feel and what they want for fear of hurting their twin. Parents need to remember that twins need experiences on their own. They need to be able to manage separation. They need to be able to handle academic challenges. And they need to learn how to be socially relatable to other people, without their twin. Parents need to help their twins not be robbed of the experience of being on their own. It's unhealthy and unfair to do that. A parental job is to help twins redefine their twin relationship, so that they can relate to one another as two separate adults.