Tips for handling mean girl bullying

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Tips for handling mean girl bullying

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Mean girl bullying, relational bullying, is really common. You are probably going to have children, most of our children, deal with this at some point. You have to, kind of, deal with it directly if you can. If your daughter is in a situation where she is targeted by a mean girl, you want them to try, as best they can, to go up to that girl directly and say, "Did I do anything to upset you?" Ask the question, "Is there some reason you are angry at me?" Girls don't like to talk about competition or jealousy or power, they just play it out indirectly. They will tell all their friends the issue, but they won't talk directly to one another. Encouraging girls to be direct with one another is a first, great step. The second thing you want to do is, encourage your daughter if they feel upset, shut it off, walk away, and not make a big deal about it. After they have asked that question, "Did I do anything to upset you?" Because you don't want to enter the drama. The drama, if you get upset, emotional or cry, will start telling everyone about it. Then it becomes a girl war. The best thing to do is let it be, walk away. You as a parent can think about it now, before they get to that age. Try to create friendship groups for them, multiple ones. If one group turns against them, they have another group to protect them. That's a key thing for parenting.

Watch Video: Tips for handling mean girl bullying by Joel Haber, PhD, ...

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Joel Haber, PhD

Psychologist, Bullying & Parenting Expert, Author

Dr. Joel Haber is a Clinical Psychologist and internationally recognized bully prevention and parenting expert. He was selected as a webinar leader and a speaker for the Obama Administration Federal Partners in Bullying Prevention initiative.  He was also an invited participant to the Second Federal Partners in Bullying Prevention Summit in 2011. His recent book, Bullyproof Your Child for Life: Protect Your Child from Teasing, Taunting and Bullying for Good set the bullying standard for schools, camps, sports, organizations and families dealing with bully prevention and intervention. He recently published The Resilience Formula: A Guide to Proactive, Not Reactive Parenting.  He is a consultant and expert to the American Camp Association, and to LG Electronics as a member of (LGTextEd.com), providing cyberbullying and mobile harassment expertise to parents and families. He is an advisor to Cartoon Network’s anti-bully campaign: Stop Bullying: Speak Up.  He is an expert for No Snap Judgments: The Addams Family Broadway Show- National Campaign to promote acceptance and tolerance amongst our youth. He is also co-founder of Tool Kits for Kids (toolkitsforkids.com), recipient of five national parenting awards for helping parents and kids develop the tools and emotional life skills to overcome worry, build confidence and develop resilience. He has written and published extensively, speaking each year to thousands of parents and educators to help make children’s lives, safer and better. 

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Transcription: 
Mean girl bullying, relational bullying, is really common. You are probably going to have children, most of our children, deal with this at some point. You have to, kind of, deal with it directly if you can. If your daughter is in a situation where she is targeted by a mean girl, you want them to try, as best they can, to go up to that girl directly and say, "Did I do anything to upset you?" Ask the question, "Is there some reason you are angry at me?" Girls don't like to talk about competition or jealousy or power, they just play it out indirectly. They will tell all their friends the issue, but they won't talk directly to one another. Encouraging girls to be direct with one another is a first, great step. The second thing you want to do is, encourage your daughter if they feel upset, shut it off, walk away, and not make a big deal about it. After they have asked that question, "Did I do anything to upset you?" Because you don't want to enter the drama. The drama, if you get upset, emotional or cry, will start telling everyone about it. Then it becomes a girl war. The best thing to do is let it be, walk away. You as a parent can think about it now, before they get to that age. Try to create friendship groups for them, multiple ones. If one group turns against them, they have another group to protect them. That's a key thing for parenting.