Play dates and interactions with your child's friend's parents

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Play dates and interactions with your child's friend's parents

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One of the things I've heard that parents sometimes might do is make friends with their kids friends parents. I don't know about the parents watching this, but if there are welfare agencies for friendship I would have been taken away in handcuffs a long time ago because I don't take care of the friendships I already have. So that's a wonderful thing parents can do, but it's hard to do. I think more practically when I call up and arrange for a play date and we agree on a time of drop off and pick up, do the other parents adhere to it. I would also suggest on that phone call saying something they like Mary in our household we would like to stick the rating guides by age, is that convenient to you at all? If I get any back talk, any hesitation, I'm hesitant about taking my kid there. When I drop my kid off I can stop and chat and get a sense and see if there are extra curricular events I can set up next to those parents, and determine whether or not they're providing the kind of household that I want my kid to be in. Over time you also see how that kid's friend is doing - are they doing well in school, do they have friends? Lastly, I want to be careful to not - I want to try to seek out diversity as much as I can. I think sometimes when parents go through these various questions, there's a hesitation with households that might be in a different group. I'd say that it's a wonderful opportunity to enrich my child's education if the household is from a different background.

See David Palmiter, PhD, ABPP 's video on Play dates and interactions with your child's friend's parents...

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David Palmiter, PhD, ABPP

Psychologist & Author

Dr. David Palmiter is a professor of Psychology and Counseling at Marywood University. He is a practicing and board-certified clinical psychologist, a past president of the Pennsylvania Psychological Association, the author of over three dozen publications, including two books on promoting resilience in youth, a Fellow of the American Psychological Association (true of < 6% of psychologists), the American Academy of Clinical Psychology and the Pennsylvania Psychological Association in youth. He has also given hundreds of workshops on family issues for organizations such as The Navy SEAL Foundation, The Master Therapist Series at the University of Connecticut, The American Psychological Association and the McGraw-Hill Financial Group and completed hundreds of media projects for outlets such as CNN, The New York Times, US News and World Report and the Wall Street Journal. David is also a dad of three (two studying at Cornell University and one still in high school) and husband of 27 years to Dr. Lia Richards-Palmiter. A central aspect of his professional mission is to put air under the wings of parents as they try to raise happy and resilient children and teens.

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Transcription: 
One of the things I've heard that parents sometimes might do is make friends with their kids friends parents. I don't know about the parents watching this, but if there are welfare agencies for friendship I would have been taken away in handcuffs a long time ago because I don't take care of the friendships I already have. So that's a wonderful thing parents can do, but it's hard to do. I think more practically when I call up and arrange for a play date and we agree on a time of drop off and pick up, do the other parents adhere to it. I would also suggest on that phone call saying something they like Mary in our household we would like to stick the rating guides by age, is that convenient to you at all? If I get any back talk, any hesitation, I'm hesitant about taking my kid there. When I drop my kid off I can stop and chat and get a sense and see if there are extra curricular events I can set up next to those parents, and determine whether or not they're providing the kind of household that I want my kid to be in. Over time you also see how that kid's friend is doing - are they doing well in school, do they have friends? Lastly, I want to be careful to not - I want to try to seek out diversity as much as I can. I think sometimes when parents go through these various questions, there's a hesitation with households that might be in a different group. I'd say that it's a wonderful opportunity to enrich my child's education if the household is from a different background.