It's often difficult when you have a child in the NICU to know what to say to friends and family. People don't really understand what you're going through or the stress that you're feeling. And so first thing's first: understand that they don't understand and friends and family are going to say silly and sometimes stupid things about your child, but understanding also that most friends and family are genuine in their concern and that they're trying and that the things that they say probably shouldn't be taken to heart. But you should also be frank with friends and family. You should explain to them what is going on with your child and you should tell them what your needs are. Everybody is different – if you want to talk about your child say, "I would like to talk about my child." If you want a place where you're free from worrying about what's going on with your child say, "I just can't talk about that right now." But being clear in your needs is the most important thing that you can do to help your friends and family best support you.