When a child and teacher aren't a good fit

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When a child and teacher aren't a good fit

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When your child does not like his teacher, it's a difficult decision whether to be asked to be transferred to another class. Generally, the rule of thumb, is you need to get working very quickly. If the principle or director of school is going to make a change, they will be more likely to make it at the beginning of the school year. You need to begin to collect information. Ask your child very specific question, "Can you tell me how Mr. Jones does the follow?" "What are some of the things that don't make you like Mr. Jones?" Avoid "why" questions. You are more likely to get a "because" and a shrug of the shoulders. Try to collect specific information. Remember that sometimes when a child does not like a teacher, in the long run, that teacher may turn out to be their very favorite. Be careful about making a hasty move. Once you decide that it's a valid move, run to the director's office and ask specifically for a certain style of teacher. Don't say, "I want the good teacher and that's Ms. Jones." Say, "My child thrives with the following style. I've had a chance to observe Ms. Jones and she has that style. Could we possibly move my child to that room." Try to be very specific, without putting anybody down.

Watch Fay Van Der Kar-Levinson, PhD's video on When a child and teacher aren't a good fit...

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Fay Van Der Kar-Levinson, PhD

Psychologist

For more than 30 years, Dr. Van Der Kar-Levinson has helped parents to navigate the maze known as parenting. She acts as both a guide and a resource for parents as they deal with the joys and challenges of raising children.

Dr. Van Der Kar-Levinson’s passion is to help parents to help their children thrive at each stage of development. She works to identify each child’s unique temperament and learning style in order to create and implement effective behavior strategies. Dr. Van Der Kar-Levinson is an expert at helping families deal with life changes such as birth of siblings, changing schools, divorce, and death.

Dr. Van Der Kar-Levinson also guides parents through the process of determining the best school for their children, and has co-authored two books on that topic, Choosing the Right School for Your Child and Secrets to School Success.   

For the past three decades Dr. Van Der Kar-Levinson has lectured and consulted at private as well as public schools. She has served as an adjunct professor at both the University of California at Los Angeles and Pepperdine University.

Dr. Van Der Kar-Levinson earned her PhD and MA at the University of California at Los Angeles where she studied and trained with some of the nation’s top researchers and clinicians in the fields of child development and clinical psychology. She is a lifetime member of the American Psychological Association.

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Transcription: 
When your child does not like his teacher, it's a difficult decision whether to be asked to be transferred to another class. Generally, the rule of thumb, is you need to get working very quickly. If the principle or director of school is going to make a change, they will be more likely to make it at the beginning of the school year. You need to begin to collect information. Ask your child very specific question, "Can you tell me how Mr. Jones does the follow?" "What are some of the things that don't make you like Mr. Jones?" Avoid "why" questions. You are more likely to get a "because" and a shrug of the shoulders. Try to collect specific information. Remember that sometimes when a child does not like a teacher, in the long run, that teacher may turn out to be their very favorite. Be careful about making a hasty move. Once you decide that it's a valid move, run to the director's office and ask specifically for a certain style of teacher. Don't say, "I want the good teacher and that's Ms. Jones." Say, "My child thrives with the following style. I've had a chance to observe Ms. Jones and she has that style. Could we possibly move my child to that room." Try to be very specific, without putting anybody down.