Teaching children to stand up for themselves

Dr. John Gray gives parents ideas on how to raise confident kids who will stand up for themselves
Parenting Advice | Teaching children to stand up for themselves
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Teaching children to stand up for themselves

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Every parent wants to have a confident child who will speak up, and we can say to our children, "Speak up, Ask what you want, Say what you think." But the real solution happens when we are giving room for our children to speak up at home, when we ask them questions and we validate what they have to say. Parents unknowingly push their children down. A child might say something and a parent will laugh or ridicule them not realizing that they are pushing down the self-esteem of a child. So you don´t have to agree with what children say, but don´t ridicule them or simply say something like that´s so easy and chuckle as opposed to that can be challenging. So when children have difficulties, we want to validate the difficulty and then give them the answer as opposed to just saying that´s easy to do, just do this. We don´t realize that can push them down. They are learning to express themselves. We have to create room for them to make mistakes. One of the most important lessons that parents have to learn is create the room for children to express themselves and not shame them when they say foolish things.

Dr. John Gray gives parents ideas on how to raise confident kids who will stand up for themselves

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John Gray, PhD

Best-Selling Author

John Gray is the leading relationship expert in the world. His relationship and health books have sold over 50 million copies in 50 different languages. His groundbreaking book, Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus, is the best-selling non-fiction book of all time.

John helps men and women better understand and respect their differences in both personal and professional relationships. His approach combines specific communication techniques with healthy, nutritional choices that create the brain and body chemistry for lasting health, happiness and romance. His many books, videos, workshops and seminars provide practical insights to effectively manage stress and improve relationships at all stages of life and love.

John also travels the world teaching communities and companies the best ways to improve their relationships and communication. He has appeared on The Oprah Winfrey Show many times as well as The Dr. Oz Show, The Today Show, CBS Morning Show, Good Morning America, The Early Show, The View, and many others. He has been profiled in Time, Forbes, USA Today and People.

John Gray lives in Northern California with his wife of 29 years, Bonnie. They have three grown daughters and four grandchildren. He is an avid follower of his own health and relationship advice.

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Transcription: 
Every parent wants to have a confident child who will speak up, and we can say to our children, "Speak up, Ask what you want, Say what you think." But the real solution happens when we are giving room for our children to speak up at home, when we ask them questions and we validate what they have to say. Parents unknowingly push their children down. A child might say something and a parent will laugh or ridicule them not realizing that they are pushing down the self-esteem of a child. So you don´t have to agree with what children say, but don´t ridicule them or simply say something like that´s so easy and chuckle as opposed to that can be challenging. So when children have difficulties, we want to validate the difficulty and then give them the answer as opposed to just saying that´s easy to do, just do this. We don´t realize that can push them down. They are learning to express themselves. We have to create room for them to make mistakes. One of the most important lessons that parents have to learn is create the room for children to express themselves and not shame them when they say foolish things.