Are some children born resilient?
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Robert Brooks, PhD Therapist and Author, explains to parents how some children are born resilient and how some children, even siblings, can be born with a very different perspective of the world
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Parents have often said to me who have more than one child that each child seems so different. And what we've learned over the last three decades, in fact, is every child is very different at birth. There's wonderful research based on temperament to show some children are born happy, some are born unhappy. Some children are born, they don't see the glass as half full, it's overflowing; some don't see it as half empty, it is totally dry. And what we've discovered is that kids are very different. And actually what I often tell parents is some children from birth will be better equipped to deal with stress, be resilient, do well in school, have more friends than others. It's just that the way their brains are programmed. Now some parents will say to me, "Oh my god, if my child is born less resilient, can I help them?" The good news is, the more we understand that children are different from birth, the more then we can accommodate to their temperament. We know some children are what they call easy children, we all love them. There are some children who are born more shy or withdrawn. And instead of saying to them, "Go make friends," what we do is, instead, because we know this is their temperament, we find ways to help them make friends. And some children are born what's called more difficult. They're kids that have more difficulty relating with other kids, some of these kids have hypersensitivities, they say, "I can't stand the label of my shirt," or they're hypersensitive to sound. The more parents understand the child is not doing this on purpose, then the more the parent can make adaptations that will help the child to become more successful as they grow and develop. And that's why it's very important to know your child's temperament.
Robert Brooks, PhD Therapist and Author, explains to parents how some children are born resilient and how some children, even siblings, can be born with a very different perspective of the world
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Robert Brooks, PhDTherapist & Author
Dr. Robert Brooks is a psychologist on the faculty of Harvard Medical School. He has lectured nationally and internationally and written extensively about the themes of resilience, parenting, family relationships, school climate, and balancing our personal and professional lives. He is the author or co-author of 15 books and has also appeared in several videos pertaining to helping children to become more responsible, self-disciplined, hopeful, and resilient.
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