One of the most important parenting tools is what I call self-possession. One of the most common issues that I see coming into my consulting office is that parent don't feel the inner confidence to hold the authority that their young child needs them to hold. Very often, growing up in our own childhood, we weren't able to internalize that sense of, "I deserve to be respected. I deserve to be listened to." In my private practice, I do guided imagries with my clients. We really go in and take a typical difficult encounter that they typically have with their child, and I have them really vividly imagine themselves responding as that calm, loving, authority figure. Parents at home can do this. Think of someone who is an example of a calm, loving, authoritative parent; and when you are falling asleep at night, imagine yourself as that person, responding to your child. Really feel the feelings to be that calm, loving authority. Also, see the look on your child's face as they relax. "Mom's in charge. Dad's in charge." It's a great gift you give your children.