Partners in parenting

Rona Renner, RN Parent Educator, shares advice for parents on how to put on a united front and be partners in parenting with your partner in order to avoid sending mixed signals to your children
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Partners in parenting

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It's very normal, when you are raising a family together, for you and your partner to have differences. I don't know anyone who doesn't. There are a couple of things to keep in mind. Do your very best not to be arguing in front of the kids about what your husband just did that you don't like. I call it sabotage. If your child sees that every time daddy does something, and you step in and change it, they lose respect for what the daddy did. If mom is dressing the child in a certain way, and the other mommy comes home and says, "I don't like how this looks," right in front of the kid. What you are doing is you are giving your child mixed messages and making your partner feel less competent. If you have differences, save them for after the kids go to bed and talk about them. Start the conversation off with what you like about what your partner does and then talk about the thing that is really bugging you. Don't pick on the small stuff. Save your differences for things that are really important.

Rona Renner, RN Parent Educator, shares advice for parents on how to put on a united front and be partners in parenting with your partner in order to avoid sending mixed signals to your children

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Rona Renner, RN

Parent Educator

Rona Renner has been a Registered Nurse for 46 years with a wide range of experience in health care. In the last 20 years she has focused her attention on pediatrics, parent education and advocacy, ADHD and learning differences. In 1992, she was trained by Kaiser Permanente Medical Center as a temperament counselor to help parents understand their child's behavior, and she co-wrote the temperament based parenting class manual. In 2002, she founded Childhood Matters, a non-profit organization producing radio shows in English and Spanish. "Nurse Rona" hosted a weekly call-in radio show for over nine years, and has appeared on many television shows, including CNN and 20/20. Rona is the author of Is That Me Yelling, a book aimed to help parents learn how to effectively communicate with their kids by focusing on their child's unique temperament, and their own. She loves working with parents one-on-one, in groups, or in large workshops. Rona is happily married, has four adult children, and two grandsons.

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Transcription: 
It's very normal, when you are raising a family together, for you and your partner to have differences. I don't know anyone who doesn't. There are a couple of things to keep in mind. Do your very best not to be arguing in front of the kids about what your husband just did that you don't like. I call it sabotage. If your child sees that every time daddy does something, and you step in and change it, they lose respect for what the daddy did. If mom is dressing the child in a certain way, and the other mommy comes home and says, "I don't like how this looks," right in front of the kid. What you are doing is you are giving your child mixed messages and making your partner feel less competent. If you have differences, save them for after the kids go to bed and talk about them. Start the conversation off with what you like about what your partner does and then talk about the thing that is really bugging you. Don't pick on the small stuff. Save your differences for things that are really important.