How mothers can help dads become better parents
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John Badalament, EdM Author and Educator, shares advice on how mothers can work together in co-parenting with dads and help dads find their own way through parenting
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One important way that mothers can work together in co-parenting with dads. The thing that is very important is to encourage dads to find their own way through parenting. I will give you a quick example of this. When my child was first born, I used to take her out and I remember packing the diaper bag one day, getting ready to go and I forgot something. And I came back and the diaper bag weighed significantly more. And I looked inside. There was a change of clothes, there was more food, the essentials. And I realized at that moment that my wife had repacked the diaper bag because she was concerned that the child was not going to be okay. It is really important for moms and dads not to fall into that dynamic. And I said in that case to my wife. I said you have to me do it my way and the only caveat to that is if safety is really a concern. Was my child going to starve? No. Were they going to freeze to death? No. So I think it is important that moms really let dads find their way. So my wife and I realized at that point she has to let me do it my way because otherwise what I foresaw happening was I would just let her pack the bag because why bother packing the bag. She is going to repack it anyway. She would end up resentful that she has to do it all and I would end up resentful that she does everything. So I think it is important for moms to understand that and dads to understand, it is really important for each parent to find their way. And because dads do not necessarily come to fatherhood with the same sense of competence, it is important from the get go that they build that competence and mothers can play a really important part in helping dads with that.
John Badalament, EdM Author and Educator, shares advice on how mothers can work together in co-parenting with dads and help dads find their own way through parenting
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John Badalament, EdMAuthor & Educator
John Badalament, EdM, is the author of the acclaimed Modern Dad’s Dilemma: How To Stay Connected with Your Kids in a Rapidly Changing World and Director of the PBS documentary All Men Are Sons: Exploring The Legacy of Fatherhood. His work has been featured on ABC News, NPR, in Men’s Health, Pregnancy, The Los AngelesTimes, and on HuffingtonPost.com. He serves on the Honorary Board of the Ties Never Broken Campaign, a partnership with The White House. John is a Harvard-trained educator who speaks internationally to schools, parent groups and organizations.
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