How praise can help or hinder self-reliance

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How praise can help or hinder self-reliance

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As parents we all want to praise our children for their accomplishments, and I think we should join in the excitement for things they have done. But I also think it's important to temper the praise to the accomplishment. For example, if your 3-year-old comes out of preschool with a scribbled self portrait, you don't need to act like they're Picasso and drew the best piece of artwork ever seen. I think it's much more meaningful to comment specifically on what you see in the drawing. So you can say, oh, I like the circles. Or I like that you chose the color green for your hair. That gives the child the message that you're actually looking at what they've produced and commenting on it.

See Alanna Levine, MD's video on How praise can help or hinder self-reliance...

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Alanna Levine, MD

Pediatrician & Author

Dr. Alanna Levine is a New York-based pediatrician and a mom of two children.  As a spokesperson for the American Academy of Pediatrics, Dr. Levine frequently appears on television and in print speaking about breaking medical news and common parenting topics.  Dr. Levine is also a contributor for BabyCenter.com, on the board of advisors for GetSweaty.com, and on the executive committee for the American Academy of Pediatrics’ Council on Communications and Media.Dr. Levine sees patients at Orangetown Pediatric Associates in New York and is on staff at Nyack Hospital and Englewood Hospital and Medical Center.   She completed her internship and residency at the Mount Sinai Hospital, received her medical degree at Sackler School of Medicine in Tel Aviv, Israel, a master’s degree in medical sciences from Boston University, and a bachelor’s degree from the University of Wisconsin.

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Transcription: 
As parents we all want to praise our children for their accomplishments, and I think we should join in the excitement for things they have done. But I also think it's important to temper the praise to the accomplishment. For example, if your 3-year-old comes out of preschool with a scribbled self portrait, you don't need to act like they're Picasso and drew the best piece of artwork ever seen. I think it's much more meaningful to comment specifically on what you see in the drawing. So you can say, oh, I like the circles. Or I like that you chose the color green for your hair. That gives the child the message that you're actually looking at what they've produced and commenting on it.