Losing your cool with your kids

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Losing your cool with your kids

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So as parents we make mistakes. At times we may yell at our children and do things and say things that we wouldn't want anyone else to do. We wouldn't want anyone else to talk to our children we would be really mad if they did As a parent we often feel a lot of guilt at these moments. We feel that really mess things up. We have to remember that the parent child relationship is a relationship. Relationships are messy. They have conflict, and nothing goes smoothly in relationships. That is what is so great about relationships is because it allows room to grow and learn to be with other. When we have these mess up as parents, the most important thing is that we repair with them. We go to them,we apologize, we let them talk about the experience and how they experienced it. Then we can know that it is okay to let go with the guilt because we are human. It is a relationship, and relationships have conflict. Our children are resilient when they have to deal with difficult things. The very thing that builds resilience is struggling and getting through it, So we can actually use these as valuable moments and let go of the guilt because we are building resilience in our children and teaching them how to repair and make things right in relationships.

Watch Video: Losing your cool with your kids by Tina Payne Bryson, PhD, ...

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Tina Payne Bryson, PhD

Psychotherapist & Author

Tina Payne Bryson, PhD, is a psychotherapist at Pediatric and Adolescent Psychology Associates in Arcadia, California, where she sees children and adolescents, as well as provides parenting consultations. She is the school counselor at St. Marks Episcopal School in Altadena, CA, and a Developmental Consultant to Camp Chippewa for Boys. She speaks to parents, educators, and clinicians all across the country. Dr. Bryson earned her PhD from the University of Southern California, where her research explored attachment science, childrearing theory, and the emerging field of interpersonal neurobiology. Her best-selling book The Whole-Brain Child (co-authored with Dr. Dan Siegel) gives parents practical ways to transform difficult moments into opportunities for children to thrive.  Dr. Bryson has written for a large number of publications, most recently the PBS series “This Emotional Life.”  She lives near Los Angeles with her husband and three children.  

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Transcription: 
So as parents we make mistakes. At times we may yell at our children and do things and say things that we wouldn't want anyone else to do. We wouldn't want anyone else to talk to our children we would be really mad if they did As a parent we often feel a lot of guilt at these moments. We feel that really mess things up. We have to remember that the parent child relationship is a relationship. Relationships are messy. They have conflict, and nothing goes smoothly in relationships. That is what is so great about relationships is because it allows room to grow and learn to be with other. When we have these mess up as parents, the most important thing is that we repair with them. We go to them,we apologize, we let them talk about the experience and how they experienced it. Then we can know that it is okay to let go with the guilt because we are human. It is a relationship, and relationships have conflict. Our children are resilient when they have to deal with difficult things. The very thing that builds resilience is struggling and getting through it, So we can actually use these as valuable moments and let go of the guilt because we are building resilience in our children and teaching them how to repair and make things right in relationships.