What to say to someone after a recent tragedy

Kim Hamer, Widow & Founder of "Exactly What They Need", explains how talking to someone who just experienced a tragedy can be difficult and shares advice on the best things to say
What To Say To Someone After A Recent Tragedy
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What to say to someone after a recent tragedy

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Talking to someone who has just experienced a tragedy is a very difficult thing to do. The first thing you want to do is make sure you acknowledge their loss. That you say to them, "I'm sorry for your loss. My heart breaks for you." Something you want to stay away from, don't say, "It's God's will," or "Don't worry about it. You are going to be okay;" because right then and there, that person does not feel like they are going to be okay. In our country, it's very uncomfortable for us to not be able to fix something. You cannot fix this tragedy. Your best bet, is to just sit there with someone. Think about what you would like someone to say to you if you were in their situation.

Kim Hamer, Widow & Founder of "Exactly What They Need", explains how talking to someone who just experienced a tragedy can be difficult and shares advice on the best things to say

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Kim Hamer

100 Acts of Love: A Girlfriend's Guide to Loving A Friend Through Cancer or Loss

Kim Hamer is the author of 100 Acts of Love: A Girlfriend's Guide to Loving Your Friend through Cancer or Loss, a modern, essential how-to guide offering tips on what to say (and NOT to say), and specific ways to support and love a friend, co-worker or family member who is coping with cancer, loss or any crisis.

Kim Hamer became a widow after her 44-year old husband lost his life to cancer. Their children were 12, 9 and 7 at the time. Before and after her husband’s death, friends and supporters came up with unique, creative and simple ways to help her family. She called them “acts of love” because it’s what they felt like.

Her book is a fun, straightforward compilation of many of those acts. The mission of “100 Acts of Love” is to help everyone understand and embrace their importance in the lives of their friend in crisis and to provide the tools and courage needed to support them in a truly meaningful and helpful way.

More Parenting Videos from Kim Hamer >
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Transcription: 
Talking to someone who has just experienced a tragedy is a very difficult thing to do. The first thing you want to do is make sure you acknowledge their loss. That you say to them, "I'm sorry for your loss. My heart breaks for you." Something you want to stay away from, don't say, "It's God's will," or "Don't worry about it. You are going to be okay;" because right then and there, that person does not feel like they are going to be okay. In our country, it's very uncomfortable for us to not be able to fix something. You cannot fix this tragedy. Your best bet, is to just sit there with someone. Think about what you would like someone to say to you if you were in their situation.