Tips for helping a friend dealing with tragedy

Kim Hamer, Widow & Founder of "Exactly What They Need", shares advice on the most important thing you can do to help a friend who is dealing with a tragedy, crisis, or loss
Tips For Helping A Friend Who Is Dealing With Tragedy
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Tips for helping a friend dealing with tragedy

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One of the single most important things you can do to help your friend who is dealing with a tragedy or crisis or loss is, you can be yourself. If your friendship was one where you were laughing a lot, then continue to do that. If your friendship was one where you talked about the news, then continue to do that. Also, remember that you are a human being, and not a human doing; which means that your friendship is not about the actions that you take, but it is about who you are and what you mean to that person. This is not the time that your friend can acknowledge all the things about you that mean a lot to them, but you must know that your friendship means something to them. Your just being with them will be helpful.

Kim Hamer, Widow & Founder of "Exactly What They Need", shares advice on the most important thing you can do to help a friend who is dealing with a tragedy, crisis, or loss

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Kim Hamer

100 Acts of Love: A Girlfriend's Guide to Loving A Friend Through Cancer or Loss

Kim Hamer is the author of 100 Acts of Love: A Girlfriend's Guide to Loving Your Friend through Cancer or Loss, a modern, essential how-to guide offering tips on what to say (and NOT to say), and specific ways to support and love a friend, co-worker or family member who is coping with cancer, loss or any crisis.

Kim Hamer became a widow after her 44-year old husband lost his life to cancer. Their children were 12, 9 and 7 at the time. Before and after her husband’s death, friends and supporters came up with unique, creative and simple ways to help her family. She called them “acts of love” because it’s what they felt like.

Her book is a fun, straightforward compilation of many of those acts. The mission of “100 Acts of Love” is to help everyone understand and embrace their importance in the lives of their friend in crisis and to provide the tools and courage needed to support them in a truly meaningful and helpful way.

More Parenting Videos from Kim Hamer >
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Transcription: 
One of the single most important things you can do to help your friend who is dealing with a tragedy or crisis or loss is, you can be yourself. If your friendship was one where you were laughing a lot, then continue to do that. If your friendship was one where you talked about the news, then continue to do that. Also, remember that you are a human being, and not a human doing; which means that your friendship is not about the actions that you take, but it is about who you are and what you mean to that person. This is not the time that your friend can acknowledge all the things about you that mean a lot to them, but you must know that your friendship means something to them. Your just being with them will be helpful.