One of the worst things you can say or do when someone is going through a tragedy in their lives is, "If you need anything, let me know." It is not helpful. What is anything? Does that mean you are going to scrub their toilets? Does that mean you are going to wipe the green snot from their kids' noses? Does that mean you are going to take that phone call from them at 3:00 a.m. and talk to them for an hour? Anything is a very big word. When someone is in crisis, they are worried that they don't know what they want most of the time. They don't know who to turn to. Asking for help is not an easy thing to do. When you say, "If you need anything, let me know," you are asking them to come up with what they need. You're asking them to come up with the courage to ask you. You're asking them to put themselves out there to possibly be rejected. The best thing you can do is be specific. I'm happy to go grocery shopping for you. I'm happy to watch your kids for you on Saturday morning from 9:00 to 12:00. Be as specific as you possibly can. The other thing is make sure you say something. Ignoring the problem only leaves the person who is dealing with the tragedy to feel more lost and like they don't matter. Even if you have to say, "I don't know what to say to you." That's an okay thing to say.