The family bed is a wonderful invention especially needed for good attachment parenting. I love babies and toddlers in bed and cozying with their mother and feeling safe, and with their father so that their brains can develop in a way where they're not feeling stressed all the time about sleeping alone. On the other hand, when they get to be a certain age, and that's the magic question, what is the age? They do need some autonomy and they do need their own bed. Every culture in the world is a little bit different. Some cultures push the older ones to the further, outside of the big family bed while the younger ones are closer. My general rule of thumb is when you get near puberty, it's time to make the break. Because of the hormone events that are happening in a young adolescence life, they might accidentally become aroused by even , God forbid, a parent, or something touching in the night. Young boys, especially, things crop up in the night and they need their own private bed to deal with that. So if you see breast buds beginning on your daughter, if your boys are asking for more private time, that's the time to encourage them out of the family bed if in fact they're still there.