When a couple is getting a divorce or breaking up a big relationship, and there are kids involved, you'll hear the words, joint custody. Joint custody, you hear that and you think it should be 50/50; it isn't. You should be aware that, as you are going through this process, that you get some terminology down. Joint custody means that, yes, both parents have to sign the report card; and both parents have to be involved in making medical decisions for the kids; but it does not mean anything near 50/50 physical custody. What I suggest for the dads that are going through this process, is that you do everything you possibly can to ensure that you have 50 percent custody. A lot of people say, "I hate my ex and I'm going to go for 100 percent custody and cut her out of the whole thing." Think about what you are doing, when you do that. You are depriving the children of their mother and it would be exactly the same thing if she were to go for 100 percent custody, to cut you out of the whole thing. That's not what the kids need. They need mom and dad. I would fully suggest that you have as much time with your children as long as it gets to 50/50. Of course, you are going to swap somethings. Somebody may take the kids for a weekend. That gets to another important point. Co-parenting, you're divorcing your ex; you're not divorcing your children. You need to keep focused on what's best for them. Like it or not, what's best for them -- The best way your children can make it through the divorce okay is to have a good relationship with their mother. You may not like each other, but agree that you are going to focus on the kids.