It's crucial to speak well with your ex- spouse because the child often feels they're to blame for the divorce, and it's very critical that the child knows that regardless of the differences of the parents that both are good parents and love the child very much and always trying to do what they think is best for the child. It's also very important for the judge to never see the parent doing anything but speaking well of the other parent because it means that that parent would likely share well, resolve conflict better and be a good co-parent. The child is particularly sensitive to the Dad leaving because many times the mother is left in the house with the child and the child's not uncommonly think the Dad abandoned them. It's very very important for the parent especially where there's the primary care provided to always say; Your father loves you. If the Father is the one no longer in the house or vice versa and they did not leave you and they will stay in your life and it's very very important for the kid's psychological being in long term for them not to feel the parent abandoned them so the more positive you talk about them, in terms of their love for the child that how difficult for them to leave the better the child will feel about themselves.