It's so admirable when parents who get divorced still make children a priority, and say, "We can't live together anymore, but we can still be good parents together." There is many things that parents can do to continue to be good parents together. One of the things they can do is have a regular time that they talk. Maybe that's a time that is with a counselor or therapist at first, because it's hard to talk to each other. One of the things that each of those parents need to really focus on is, what is it about that person that I admire? How can I hold that person up for my children? Your feelings about the person go in one channel and your communication you want to give that person to your child, is in another channel. You try to separate those channels, so that you aren't talking negatively about that other parent; which makes the child feel like you are talking negatively about them. Another technique for parents who are partnering after divorce is that they can develop a journal. So when the child is with one parent, they can make some notes about what they did. The child can carry that journal over to the other parents. They can review the notes and then make notes about what they did together. This allows the child to have an integrated experience. One of the things that happens to a child in divorce is that they become a keeper of their history. I have this history over here, and this history over here. The more they have permission to talk with mom about what happened at dad's house, the more they feel like they have the experience of an integrated life together.