Importance of telling kids they were adopted

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Importance of telling kids they were adopted

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It's universally accepted among parents that children need to be told that they're adopted. When I first got into this field in the late 70's, I was still getting referrals of individuals who'd found out later in childhood or even into adulthood, that they were adopted, they've never been told. The reason why it's important is, first of all, it's honest. You have to build your relationship with your child on honesty. If the child is not told, it's a difficult family secret to keep, it usually will come out. And it can completely undermine the child's sense of self, the child's trust in the parents. It can undermine their life in some ways.

Watch David Brodzinsky, PhD's video on Importance of telling kids they were adopted...

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David Brodzinsky, PhD

Psychologist & Author

David Brodzinsky is Associate Professor in the Department of Psychology and Director of the Foster Care Counseling Project at Rutgers University. He also maintains an active private practice serving the clinical needs of children and families, including individuals who are part of the adoption triad. Brodzinsky has written and lectured extensively in the fields of developmental and clinical psychology and is an internationally known expert in the field of adoption. He is co-author of such well-known books as, The Psychology of Adoption, Being Adopted: The Lifelong Search for Self, and Children's Adjustment to Adoption: Developmental and Clinical Issues.

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Transcription: 
It's universally accepted among parents that children need to be told that they're adopted. When I first got into this field in the late 70's, I was still getting referrals of individuals who'd found out later in childhood or even into adulthood, that they were adopted, they've never been told. The reason why it's important is, first of all, it's honest. You have to build your relationship with your child on honesty. If the child is not told, it's a difficult family secret to keep, it usually will come out. And it can completely undermine the child's sense of self, the child's trust in the parents. It can undermine their life in some ways.