Adoptive attachment and affection toward strangers

Psychologist & Author David Brodzinsky, PhD, explains why adopted children often go up to strangers and offer affection and what parents can do to help stop these symptoms in their adopted child
Indiscriminate Friendliness In Adopted Children
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Adoptive attachment and affection toward strangers

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Another common issue that parents bring to me is when their children, often they're toddlers or preschoolers, are going to strangers and offering affection, seeking out things ordinarily that one would expect they would seek from their parents. We talk about this as indiscriminate friendliness. It is a symptom usually of significant insecurity in the child. It's very common in children who come out of the orphanage systems from abroad. Occasionally we see it also in children who are in the foster care system who move from home to home to home. It reflects insecurity in a sense the child is really unsure of when they're gonna be able to get what they need and from whom. And so they take whatever opportunity they can to approach whoever is friendly, and they do so in a charming way that often is misunderstood as friendly and, if you will, precocious. But it is a symptom of deep insecurity in a child that needs to be dealt with.

Psychologist & Author David Brodzinsky, PhD, explains why adopted children often go up to strangers and offer affection and what parents can do to help stop these symptoms in their adopted child

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David Brodzinsky, PhD

Psychologist & Author

David Brodzinsky is Associate Professor in the Department of Psychology and Director of the Foster Care Counseling Project at Rutgers University. He also maintains an active private practice serving the clinical needs of children and families, including individuals who are part of the adoption triad. Brodzinsky has written and lectured extensively in the fields of developmental and clinical psychology and is an internationally known expert in the field of adoption. He is co-author of such well-known books as, The Psychology of Adoption, Being Adopted: The Lifelong Search for Self, and Children's Adjustment to Adoption: Developmental and Clinical Issues.

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Transcription: 
Another common issue that parents bring to me is when their children, often they're toddlers or preschoolers, are going to strangers and offering affection, seeking out things ordinarily that one would expect they would seek from their parents. We talk about this as indiscriminate friendliness. It is a symptom usually of significant insecurity in the child. It's very common in children who come out of the orphanage systems from abroad. Occasionally we see it also in children who are in the foster care system who move from home to home to home. It reflects insecurity in a sense the child is really unsure of when they're gonna be able to get what they need and from whom. And so they take whatever opportunity they can to approach whoever is friendly, and they do so in a charming way that often is misunderstood as friendly and, if you will, precocious. But it is a symptom of deep insecurity in a child that needs to be dealt with.