Informing kids about their adoption

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Informing kids about their adoption

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One of the most common questions that parents ask me is how early should they be telling their children about adoption. There's no right or wrong answer, per se. Most families begin around 3 to 4 years of age. But, there are two issues that really need to be raised before adoption is even raised. First is helping the child to understand a little bit and in each and appropriate way about birth and reproduction. That grounds the child in the sense of being the same as everyone else, that they're born in to this world. The next issue that needs to be addressed is family diversity. There are many, many kinds of families. Family diversity today is quite considerable and adopted families is just one of many different kinds of families. Once that gets normalized, then families can begin to talk about the specific adoption story that is unique to their child, how the child came in to the family, the circumstances of it and begin the process of helping them to understand what that means.

View David Brodzinsky, PhD's video on Informing kids about their adoption...

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David Brodzinsky, PhD

Psychologist & Author

David Brodzinsky is Associate Professor in the Department of Psychology and Director of the Foster Care Counseling Project at Rutgers University. He also maintains an active private practice serving the clinical needs of children and families, including individuals who are part of the adoption triad. Brodzinsky has written and lectured extensively in the fields of developmental and clinical psychology and is an internationally known expert in the field of adoption. He is co-author of such well-known books as, The Psychology of Adoption, Being Adopted: The Lifelong Search for Self, and Children's Adjustment to Adoption: Developmental and Clinical Issues.

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Transcription: 
One of the most common questions that parents ask me is how early should they be telling their children about adoption. There's no right or wrong answer, per se. Most families begin around 3 to 4 years of age. But, there are two issues that really need to be raised before adoption is even raised. First is helping the child to understand a little bit and in each and appropriate way about birth and reproduction. That grounds the child in the sense of being the same as everyone else, that they're born in to this world. The next issue that needs to be addressed is family diversity. There are many, many kinds of families. Family diversity today is quite considerable and adopted families is just one of many different kinds of families. Once that gets normalized, then families can begin to talk about the specific adoption story that is unique to their child, how the child came in to the family, the circumstances of it and begin the process of helping them to understand what that means.